Friday, February 16, 2024

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

It has been a month since my last post and, we had enter our lovely year of Dragon (since last Saturday)... As we get older, Chinese New Year (CNY) feels less exciting but for those who are still unmarried like me, we get to enjoy some extra pocket money... Thankfully, my relatives never pester me about my love life much they still ask about it once every year... To me, I always give them a straight forward answer, which is I don't have a girlfriend and have not found one yet... If I am meant to be loved or found love, it will come eventually... I can't force myself to love someone who doesn't love me... Perhaps, my entire life was not meant to have a partner...

Since the start of the new year (both Western and Chinese), I feel the same as last year... Normal luck, down but not depressed life, slight loneliness, empty but not lost, and neither happy nor sad... Thank goodness I am still doing well in my work and I would say the least, I am still enjoying my job...

There aren't much update as I have been going slow with my life... I rarely meet new people and rarely engage in anything as well... All I ever wanted is just to let time passes by... I wanted to go for a vacation but I have nobody to go with, nor I have the money to do so... Therefore, I guess I will just go with the flow...

Frankly speaking, I am not so motivated in anything now... I rarely gym due to my work location and I will need to reschedule everything to fit in my workout routine... However, one thing for sure, I will never stop going to gym... I might take a break, but never completely stop it once I started it 😆

OK that's all for me today... Wishing everyone a healthy and wealthy year of Dragon!!!



HAPPY DONG DONG CHIANGGG!!!


Monday, January 15, 2024

Weakening...

Recently I realise that my body has weakened a lot, like I get tired easily and feeling lethargic most of the time even if I get enough sleep... I'm not sure what causes it because I somehow changed my lifestyle by eating oats instead of eggs for my breakfast, workout lesser compared to how I used to be and I even cut down on my lunch (eating bread only)... I've been doing this since last year November... The diet changes has the biggest impact for me when I started but it goes better after a month... Since then, my body tend to feel tired and lethargic at certain hour of the day like around 2pm and 5pm... However, when I workout, I feel damn energetic 😅

One thing I suspected is I might be having Covid but the symptoms are not severe to the extent of fever, cough or sorethroat... Or probably is just some Influenza A or B that wears me down like this... I can't really say much because apart from lethargic, I have no other severe symptoms to lead me to visit the doctor... But since this has been ongoing for almost few days, I might consider getting an influenza test from the clinic (when I need to work in the office 😂) in next few days if it still persists...

In a sense, my health is deteriorating but not in a very bad way... Thankfully, I only feel tired since the frequent changes in my diet (or maybe because of my work stress)... Still, I need to closely monitor in order for me to get back on my physically active path... 



Since bulking doesn't progress much, then I try cutting now xD

Monday, January 1, 2024

HAPPY NEW YEAR OF 2024!!!

I never bother to make resolution every year because I know it will never come true for me... I'm not trying to be salty or emo but deep inside me, something tells me that I will never deserve such happiness... Seeing people celebrate their New Year's Eve at home, eating and playing things they love, indicates that they are having a lovely day to end 2023... Meanwhile for me, I just laid on my bed and getting ready to sleep LOL...

2023 was definitely a better year than 2022 for me... But still, I felt that I had struggled a lot last year as well... New experiences was definitely enlightening... Heartbreaking stuff that I wish to forget, probably will still linger for a longer while... At least, I don't find it difficult to go through it xD

One thing that concerns me the most is my absent from travelling/vacation... For the last 3 years, the furthest that I had gone to is Johor Bahru... I mean, is not that bad but I was hoping to make good use of my passport xD
I would really love to enjoy some sun and sea water as island trips are my favourite... Or maybe, beach resorts will be fine as long as there are sea water close to me :3

My love life for 2023 was kind of rough for me, which is due to my Syphilis... I never enjoy sex as much as I did for the last 2 years and this could contribute to my love life a little... Meeting few soulmates but unable to satisfy their desires was the harshest moment cause for me, physical intimacy is my love language... I tried my best to overcome it but things doesn't get any better... At least, I can confidently say that I am fully recovered from Syphilis and I am slowly regaining my confidence back now :P

As for my business, we practically lost a lot of hope since we failed to get any more sources... The one we consulted from France wasn't up to our expectation and this is definitely a bummer for us... We realise that it wasn't that easy to run a perfume business and there are still a lot of things we need to do in order to make this business become a reality... I won't say I had give up, but surely I will find my way through as time goes by...

Related to my fitness journey, I find it extremely difficult for me progress... It felt like I have reached a certain limit hence I've decided to change my fitness routine overall by cutting drastically... I saw changes as I am cutting for the last 3 months, better than trying to bulk myself... I might continue with this for another 3 months and see how much changes I can go through...

To sum up my 2023, it was not that bad, but never good either... Slightly better than 2022 and with some extra twist... As I said, I won't wish for anything cause it will just never come true for me...



NEVERTHELESS, HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR OF 2024 EVERYONE~~~

Monday, December 11, 2023

Happiest News...

A lot of things had happened throughout these few months since my last post but one thing I would definitely love to highlight is my recovery of Syphilis... I posted about this before and since the day I got infected with Syphilis, I was having the hardest time through it... And as of 10th November 2023, the result of my most recent Syphilis test indicates that I am completely clear of the bacteria (although the antibody will remain forever in my body)... It is the happiest thing I have ever experience for this year to be honest... Guess this is a Christmas gift for me??? Hahahaha xD

One of my biggest burden had finally resolved... I guess I can live a happier life from now on :D



Wishing everyone to be healthy and lead a happier life as well :)

Thursday, September 7, 2023

Hectic Life...

Well I am back again~~~

But this time, I have nothing much to update because for the last 1 whole month of inactiveness, I was completely busy with my job... However, there is one thing that I am keen on updating...

In my last two post, I mentioned about Guy A and Guy B... Last month, I met a new guy (let's call him Guy C) which I find him the most interesting among all the guys I knew... I do not want to go too detail about him yet cause I barely able to feel his true feelings toward me... To avoid repeating the same mistake, I won't invest too much of my effort and time if I start to feel him being distant away from me...

Guy C is a singer and hell yes he does have a very beautiful voice... I kinda like his vibe but because of this vibe of his, it is very difficult for me to know if he is actually interested on me... I attempted to get his attention most of the time but he does not respond much to it, which is something I will do when I am not very interested with that person... Therefore, is very hard for me to consider that as "interested" eventually...

I will stop at this point because the more I dwell into him, the more hurtful it is for me to realise the time I spent with him is meaningless for him... I will just goes with the flow for now, which is without a doubt, nothing fruitful... It would be a miracle if it really happens...



What is Love???

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Update #2437689127619283

There are so many things I wanted to type but it will be one hell of a long post (thanks for being inactive xD)... In fact, there are so many things I do not know how to summarise it which I will prefer to post it as a full separate story in the future... But for now, I will just update those that are shorter and easier to be typed...

1. Feels like my body is aging rapidly... Tend to feel tired quickly, especially after working out... And probably due to job stress, I feel like it is further affecting my energy... But I am still able to perform my daily activities without any problem... Maybe I need to start taking supplements back...

2. Went to Kakiku sauna early this month... Went there for the sake of trying out the dungeon... Smaller than before, but still a good place to hang out xD

3. Seeing gains recently... Kinda happy with the progress as I gained 2kg... Better than being stagnant at the same weight HAHAHA!!!

4. Try out a new protein powder from Lushprotein... The whey was OK and tried their plant protein because it is cholesterol free... The taste is definitely not my type of taste but at least still can swallow laaaa...



Ok that's all for today XD

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK~~~

Sunday, July 16, 2023

What Is Love???

So after that previous incident, which kinda affected me but given that I can recover very fast, I am all good for now... On the other hand, I came to another problem which I really do not know what to do this time... This is how the story goes...

So I knew this guy (Guy A) for almost 3 months but we never meet until recently... Initially, I only thought he wasn't that interested in me so I never bother proceed with going after him because I am the type of person who evaluate someone on how much they text me... The more the person bother texting me, means they have more interested with me and that is what I usually do when I like that person as well... As we finally met this week, I do find that we do get along well together in terms of conversations and interest... Compared to before we met, now he seems to be more interested in engaging me with some text rather than I am the one texting him first, which is a good sign...

Unfortunately, here comes the challenge... Early this month, I met a new guy (Guy B) which happens to go to the same gym and I started to getting close with him... He does treat me very nicely and even bought me some stuff from his hometown, and we only met twice before he went back his hometown... He does really care for me and who doesn't love to be treated like that??? The thing is, the feelings I have for him is NOT strong enough to be love... I enjoy the times with him so far (meals and gym only) but I could not force myself to love him yet cause I know he is not the person I imagined to be my lifetime partner... 

In this case, my feelings of love is still toward Guy A... However, I really do not want to disappoint Guy B cause I can see very clearly he is deeply in love with me... Should I continue with what we are doing with Guy B (without love feelings) but at the same time further develope my feelings with Guy A???

Frankly speaking, I do have an answer on what I should do but I would like to get some opinion this time cause my decision is quite cruel which is better for me and Guy B...



I am definitely a sucker for nice guy...

Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Devastated...

Continue with the story about the guy last week... He left me a message on Saturday midnight (I was asleep and read it the next morning), saying that he doesn't want to give me hope to progress our relationship... The reason he gave was because he is seeing another person already... The moment I read it, I have so many questions about his personality... I wanted to throw him thousands of questions but the fact that he never even reply my 1 question that I sent since last Sunday, there is no point for me to further pursue the answer... Here are the questions that I wanted to ask him, maybe will or never:

1. If you are seeing someone already, why do you bother staying at my place for a night???
2. Why do you bother being so extremely nice to me on our first day of meeting by buying me snacks and fruits???
3. Why you bother being so affectionate with me when we are together???
4. Why you bother being so physically intimate with me when we are together???
5. Why did you kiss me after I fetched you back home???

Whatever that had happened between us, it meant so much and real to me... But at one point, I recall you telling me that not to miss you before you walk away and I should have realise that hint...

I'm not sure if he is being honest with seeing someone, but I would prefer if he lied to me by saying he don't felt the chemistry with me, which would have hurt lesser to me... I have yet to seek the truth out of him but if I have the chance, I will when time comes... But will I ever see him again??? The answer would be a definitely no cause it gave me sleepless nights and heartbreaks...



Falling in love this easily is definitely not a good thing :'(