Love Is Not Meant For Me...

About the story where I had a good feeling with the guy I met recently??? Turns out, there will never be a happy ending for me in my love life... I should have expected it, like usual...

Apparently, I was hanging out with one of my friend and he knows him... He told me that he is a playboy (5 to 10 years back ago) and he has that "expensive" attitude which I realise it after awhile as well... I thought I was overthinking but it seems like it was partially true... He kept avoiding my questions about his interest in relationship and things became clearer as time goes by...

It was a hard one for me... It hurts me for sure cause I do fall in love easily... And thanks to my "fall out of love easily" as well, he doesn't mean much to me anymore...

Why does falling in love so hard??? Why does finding a soulmate this difficult??? Why???

Perhaps, I wasn't meant to be in love...

2nd Week...

2nd week of meeting him... I honestly want to meet him up more frequently because I really really really enjoy the time we spent together... It has been a long time since I have this love feelings... The more I think about him, the more I want to meet him... However, the more I tried to message him, the distance seems further when he never reply me... There are still a lot of things I wanna learn about him, hence my urge to meeting him up more seems reasonable... I have a lot of questions to ask... I have a lot of feelings to express... I have a lot of doubts to be cleared... The more I fell for him, the more hurtful as time goes by without knowing what he truly feels about me...

OK Joey... Stop overthinking stuff for now... When time comes, embrace yourself and ask the right question... Plus, this is quite new for him so it might take some time for him to digest as well... Plan something, spend more good times together, and enjoy the process...

THIS FEELING IS REALLY KILLING ME!!!!!

Quick Update!!!

The reason why I am posting this is because I might have found my soulmate... Although it is just a start and there are more things to learn about each other, but the feelings we had for each other somehow matches in a good way... Looking forward to more outings with him :D

Meanwhile, it has been a long time since I share any songs (because this post is too short so I am embedding a video to make it longer HAHAHAHA) and this is one of my top favourite since the song was released:

Hope everyone is having their happy days ahead :)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!

I can't think of what title to put for this post, and since today is Hari Raya, it matches with my previous post which is Chinese New Year xD

It has been quite some time since I posted anything because nothing much happened except bad luck since 1st of April... It wasn't anything severe but it still does affect my mood a little... Guess this holiday is a good time for me to unwind and relax :D

I have some plans ahead for this month and the one I am looking forward to the most is perming my hair... I really really hope it turns out well :')

Apart from my hair, I am eagerly waiting for my increment and bonus by end of this month xD

Signing off for now... Hope to be more active with my blog again HAHAHAHA!!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

It has been a month since my last post and, we had enter our lovely year of Dragon (since last Saturday)... As we get older, Chinese New Year (CNY) feels less exciting but for those who are still unmarried like me, we get to enjoy some extra pocket money... Thankfully, my relatives never pester me about my love life much they still ask about it once every year... To me, I always give them a straight forward answer, which is I don't have a girlfriend and have not found one yet... If I am meant to be loved or found love, it will come eventually... I can't force myself to love someone who doesn't love me... Perhaps, my entire life was not meant to have a partner...

Since the start of the new year (both Western and Chinese), I feel the same as last year... Normal luck, down but not depressed life, slight loneliness, empty but not lost, and neither happy nor sad... Thank goodness I am still doing well in my work and I would say the least, I am still enjoying my job...

There aren't much update as I have been going slow with my life... I rarely meet new people and rarely engage in anything as well... All I ever wanted is just to let time passes by... I wanted to go for a vacation but I have nobody to go with, nor I have the money to do so... Therefore, I guess I will just go with the flow...

Frankly speaking, I am not so motivated in anything now... I rarely gym due to my work location and I will need to reschedule everything to fit in my workout routine... However, one thing for sure, I will never stop going to gym... I might take a break, but never completely stop it once I started it 😆

OK that's all for me today... Wishing everyone a healthy and wealthy year of Dragon!!!



HAPPY DONG DONG CHIANGGG!!!

Weakening...

Recently I realise that my body has weakened a lot, like I get tired easily and feeling lethargic most of the time even if I get enough sleep... I'm not sure what causes it because I somehow changed my lifestyle by eating oats instead of eggs for my breakfast, workout lesser compared to how I used to be and I even cut down on my lunch (eating bread only)... I've been doing this since last year November... The diet changes has the biggest impact for me when I started but it goes better after a month... Since then, my body tend to feel tired and lethargic at certain hour of the day like around 2pm and 5pm... However, when I workout, I feel damn energetic 😅

One thing I suspected is I might be having Covid but the symptoms are not severe to the extent of fever, cough or sorethroat... Or probably is just some Influenza A or B that wears me down like this... I can't really say much because apart from lethargic, I have no other severe symptoms to lead me to visit the doctor... But since this has been ongoing for almost few days, I might consider getting an influenza test from the clinic (when I need to work in the office 😂) in next few days if it still persists...

In a sense, my health is deteriorating but not in a very bad way... Thankfully, I only feel tired since the frequent changes in my diet (or maybe because of my work stress)... Still, I need to closely monitor in order for me to get back on my physically active path... 

Since bulking doesn't progress much, then I try cutting now xD

HAPPY NEW YEAR OF 2024!!!

I never bother to make resolution every year because I know it will never come true for me... I'm not trying to be salty or emo but deep inside me, something tells me that I will never deserve such happiness... Seeing people celebrate their New Year's Eve at home, eating and playing things they love, indicates that they are having a lovely day to end 2023... Meanwhile for me, I just laid on my bed and getting ready to sleep LOL...

2023 was definitely a better year than 2022 for me... But still, I felt that I had struggled a lot last year as well... New experiences was definitely enlightening... Heartbreaking stuff that I wish to forget, probably will still linger for a longer while... At least, I don't find it difficult to go through it xD

One thing that concerns me the most is my absent from travelling/vacation... For the last 3 years, the furthest that I had gone to is Johor Bahru... I mean, is not that bad but I was hoping to make good use of my passport xD

I would really love to enjoy some sun and sea water as island trips are my favourite... Or maybe, beach resorts will be fine as long as there are sea water close to me :3

My love life for 2023 was kind of rough for me, which is due to my Syphilis... I never enjoy sex as much as I did for the last 2 years and this could contribute to my love life a little... Meeting few soulmates but unable to satisfy their desires was the harshest moment cause for me, physical intimacy is my love language... I tried my best to overcome it but things doesn't get any better... At least, I can confidently say that I am fully recovered from Syphilis and I am slowly regaining my confidence back now :P

As for my business, we practically lost a lot of hope since we failed to get any more sources... The one we consulted from France wasn't up to our expectation and this is definitely a bummer for us... We realise that it wasn't that easy to run a perfume business and there are still a lot of things we need to do in order to make this business become a reality... I won't say I had give up, but surely I will find my way through as time goes by...

Related to my fitness journey, I find it extremely difficult for me progress... It felt like I have reached a certain limit hence I've decided to change my fitness routine overall by cutting drastically... I saw changes as I am cutting for the last 3 months, better than trying to bulk myself... I might continue with this for another 3 months and see how much changes I can go through...

To sum up my 2023, it was not that bad, but never good either... Slightly better than 2022 and with some extra twist... As I said, I won't wish for anything cause it will just never come true for me...

NEVERTHELESS, HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR OF 2024 EVERYONE~~~

Happiest News...

A lot of things had happened throughout these few months since my last post but one thing I would definitely love to highlight is my recovery of Syphilis... I posted about this before and since the day I got infected with Syphilis, I was having the hardest time through it... And as of 10th November 2023, the result of my most recent Syphilis test indicates that I am completely clear of the bacteria (although the antibody will remain forever in my body)... It is the happiest thing I have ever experience for this year to be honest... Guess this is a Christmas gift for me??? Hahahaha xD

One of my biggest burden had finally resolved... I guess I can live a happier life from now on :D



Wishing everyone to be healthy and lead a happier life as well :)