For the last 2 months, I was placed or assigned to work in my client office. Initially, I was very excited and determined to work for this project because I can see that I will get to learn a lot of things. It is true. Within the last 2 months, I've learned a lot about insurance. Everything went well until last month, I start to realise something is not right, or maybe it was never right to begin with. This is not what I expected and definitely not something that I want to do. Unfortunately, there will be a conclusion this time. And a not so favourable one.
As time passes by, I try to understand what I'm supposed to. I do what I can and write it out. I was very confident with my understanding on what I'm assigned to and as usual, it don't seem to be wrong. Of course there might be some missed out info as I could not grasp everything in a moment. But it shouldn't be as bad as how it could be. Well. BAMMMM! My superior says that I missed out the main point. My superior says that I wrote it incorrectly. My superior says that what I have written are mostly irrelevant. At this point, what I really understand about myself is that I don't understand anything at all. It was depressing. It does not happen once. Not twice. Not trice. It is everytime. I tried my best to think and put it down yet I can't achieve what I'm supposed to. It is clear to me that I am not fit to be involved in this project.
One. I am a complete burden not just to my superior but the whole project team.
Two. I'm not contributing anything at all.
Three. I'm wasting everyone's time and effort.
I don't mind being known as an asshole for leaving this project so sudden. My sudden departure definitely gives a bad impression to my company but I have to decide something rather than dragging the entire project down and cause unnecessary inconvenience to others.
I am at a state now where I will never be productive, permanent shut down, slightly depressed just thinking about it and useless. I'm going to speak out everything and let my boss know that I can never continue and this is definitely something I have to apologise.
I can foresee that my departure would make this project a more successful one.
