Confession...

Recently, my libido is getting very wild and I am trying very hard to hook up with someone... Eventually, I still have no luck in finding one as those who I am really interested with will never consider me in the first place... My confession is that I promised to meet up with a few guys since January but I have rejected and neglected them for quite some time... I'm not trying to cover up my wrongdoing but I just want to express something...

I understand some of them are eager to meet me since I promised them but it seems that I have disappointed them a lot of times... When I am in my best condition to meet up with them, my work disrupts me and made me cancel my meet up with them... Yes... I do admit that I am very busy with my work as well but just by thinking of my work, it make me loses my mood to have fun drastically... Is not that I do not want to meet up and have fun with them... Just that as time goes by, I tend to be very picky, to an extent where I would only consider to have fun with that person I deemed almost perfect... For some reason, somewhere in my mind tells me that if I were to engage in sexual fun, it has to be the one that we both will enjoy the most... 

Overall, I admit it was my fault and I hope they will forgive me... For the time being, I will try to put myself back together...

I know I am such an asshole T_T

Am I Stupid??? xD

So something funny happened to me last weekend... Once in a while, I will go for a massage especially when my body ache are serious due to workout... Therefore, I went to this massage parlour at Farenheit 88 and got myself a nice massage plus body scrub... Whenever I go for a massage, I can honestly say that I will never give any tips unless the therapist is really good... In this case, I'm not saying the therapist was bad but not really that fantastic but I do think of tipping him a little at least cause last year was really not a good year for them... I decided to pay extra RM30 as tips, which is the change from the amount I paid... To my surprise, I did not realise that I paid an extra RM50 note together... I thought he would tell me that I paid more and give me back the RM50 but instead, he assume that the extra RM50 was my tips to him and he thanked me while quickly keep the RM50 inside his pocket... Frankly speaking, it was so fast that I was like just errrr wudddd huhhhh and I nod and say OK eventually...

Honestly, the differences of RM20 does means a lot to me, but at the same time, it means a lot to him too... Hence, after thinking about it, I have no regrets giving him extra RM20 cause I believe we have been through some hard time... Plus I agreed to give him so I can't blame anyone for that now... I will let it pass for this one time... If it happens again, I will definitely stop him and I need to make sure I pay the right amount from now on xD

If I am richer probably I am more generous in tipping AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Deep Thoughts...

I came to realisation that I am more of a person that stays within my own comfort zone... Whenever I tried to break out from this comfort zone, it seems like it will never be good enough from other person perspective... It got me thinking when one of the company I applied for recently through an agent and they come back to me explaining that my skills are not up to a senior level expectation... I do admit my skills are not very fantastic because I tend to present my work in the most simplified manner so that other people could understand when they study my work... I have done numerous complex stuff in my entire career and I'm pretty sure all functions accordingly but if my skills were evaluated from a simple test, I have no comment on that...

Nevertheless, I still enjoy doing what I'm doing now (just not for this project) and I guess I will just stick to my current job for a little longer... I don't really have any intention to change job unless someone introduced me a new job then I will just give it a try... I told myself that if I were to change my job, at least make sure I got my bonus first before I leave HAHAHAHAHAHA xD

Of course, if there is a better opportunity in my career, I am willing to give up the bonus in this case :)

Feel so empty recently... Need to find something to spice up my life a little...