Recent Addiction...

So glad that I started to move myself away from sexual activities with other guys... It is still undeniable that I am bi/gay but at least I am not overly indulge with those sexual pleasure now... It somehow dies off at a certain point and I can get back to my normal, ordinary easy-going life as how it was used to be... One thing for sure is I am not looking forward to those things at this point...

Currently, this is my recent addiction:

BTS should be the only Korean male group that impresses me the most right now :D



Gotta download their albums lolz...

Sudden Realisation...

As I get older, I see my good old friends in a very different way... Not sure if my perception turns out to be more sensitive or what, but I don't know why it makes me feel uncomfortable... There are a few particular friends which somehow does not satisfy with my life... For instance, I just made a post on Facebook stating something very simple: "Hello long holiday :D :D :D"
As today is a public holiday and I took 2 days off, I am getting 5 days off from work which is nice... But that particular friend which I still consider a good friend of mine, gave me not a like, but an angry response... Like seriously??? Let me get into this once and for all:

1. He is more richer than me... He even have a better life and a better paid job than me... Why is he giving me that response when I am just getting a long off???
2. He gets to travel more than I do... But when I travel, he gave me the same response...
3. When I eat something new, he gave me that response, thinking that I have a better life...

It is clear that I don't care about other people's life... Yes I do get envious but I will NEVER response to their life badly... In fact, I am happy on behalf of them when they get to travel and eat good food... That's me :)



I am kind... Sekian lolz...

Not So Keen...

Ok things feels differently from before now... I may still interested in expressing myself to him, but I am totally not eager or interested in having sexual fun with other guys now... Not a bit... I just felt that if I want to release, I can just do it all by myself... Or perhaps I am just too into him, as in want to be myself more when I am with him... I'm sort of unclear but I think I should keep it this way as of now... Do not let myself gone too wild... I want my life to be fully under my control... Do no let my desire kills me...

I am still keeping part of my love for him... Not sure why but I just think it will never go wrong...



More updates soon...

October Update!!!

First off, I failed to express myself to Hideto... Yes... I may sound like a failure but I think I made a right choice because that day itself, I am very sure Hideto is not having a good day... He look kinda moody to me and I somehow exceed the time with him... I can sense that he is a little bit unhappy as well so it was the right choice for me not to express... I should hang out with him more instead of having him doing his job whenever we meet most of the time... He is a human and he needs to rest sometimes... Probably by making him thinking me as a less sexual driven guy, he might be more happier or comfortable with me...

Now let's move on to next thing... I am sort of getting tired hanging out with other guys in BW recently... I just felt that the more I hook up with someone new, the more disappointing it will be... They tend to be less attractive to me in certain ways... Is it because after meeting Hideto, nobody can be compared to him??? I am too lazy to think about this in the end...

Third, I skipped gym for 2 days and I felt extremely guilty... 2 days (last Friday and today) I am supposed to go gym and due to my job, I have to give up my gym... Thinking of this certainly pisses me off but it should be fine after everything goes smoothly...

Fourth, I really hate headaches...



I REALLY HATE HEADACHES!!! OR MIGRAINES!!! I JUST WANT TO VENT ALL THE SHIT OUT!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!