The Worst Has Yet To Come...

I thought everything will turn out fine but it does not seems like it... As time get closer, it turns out to be the worst thing I could have imagine... There are just too many things in my mind right now that I am purely forcing myself through it... I really hope that I could just pretend nothing happened and live my life as usual... I wanted to type everything out about what had happened but I don't think now is the right time to do so yet...

I will try to stay strong!!!!!!!

Sigh...

Never expected that January 2022 is my worst January that I ever had in my entire life... It was never pleasant, and I am constantly falling in and out of depression regularly due to too many things that happened all along... I really wanted to know if my life will continue to be this miserable for the next few months or not... Plus, there are still a few more things I need to be worried about before end of this month and it is not something minor at all... Things are taking a toll on me since then and the more I think about it, the more depress it makes me... I may not know what is the next bad thing that could hit me... I'm not sure if I am prepared for it as well... If I was meant to suffer from now on, then I have nothing else to say and all I can do is just move on with a fake happiness engraved to my face...

Guess I could not enjoy my life after all :')

Rollercoaster January 2022...

So at the beginning of the year, it was a crazy emotional ride for me... Something happened yesterday night (I will not go in detail about it yet) and thanks to the guy in my previous post (even though he have to go through his own problems), he assured and helped me a lot on this... It was another crazy thing I got myself into and without him, I will never know what I might have done... I felt indebted to him as he accompanied me throughout the whole night and comforted me...

As for myself, I have learnt a very valuable lesson... Never fucking ever agreed to have video chat with any strangers from now on... Not even one... No is a no... I will engrave this into myself for the rest of my life...

Never trust any strangers in your entire life regardless of how nice they are... Not every nice people can be trusted...

Relieved...

So from my last post, I was very moody and I skipped gym for 2 days just because of him... Luckily, like 4 days later, he replied me something and update me his status... It wasn't a good one from him and I was extremely relieved that he was all safe and sound... At that point of time, I was actually slowly putting him off my mind (I fall in and fall out of love easily lolz) and now he is chatting back with me regularly, it kinda stopped me from putting it off for a moment... Although I still have the feelings for him, but the fact that he stated clearly that he will be undergoing some drastic lifestyle change for the better of himself, it is very unlikely I have the chance to be with him for this period... Hence, I am back to the beginning :')

Everything is fine so far for me and I am living my life as usual... Need to get back to the gyms and grind even harder... And yes, my libido is getting wild again lately lolz...

It is going to be CNY and I will be getting my long break soon... Been longing for a good long holidays :')

HOLIDAY HERE I COMEEEEEEE!!!

Best New Year... And The Most Miserable One...

The moments that we had since the first day we chatted on Whatsapp was extremely precious and memorable to me, not just because we slept together but we had a nice, comfy talk next to each other...

You shared most of your stories and I became your listener because I am willing to know you more...

You decided to give one of your plants to me so I could learn how to take good care of it, and you even told me that you might turn my home into a greenery...

You revealed to me that you are a pianist and I totally fall for the music that you had played. I told you that you played one of my favourite artist's song and I purposely made you guess which one was it since you played a lot of songs...

You told me that you like my personalities a lot, not once, not twice, but more than 3 times... You even compliment me in so many ways which made me feel much closer to you...

You said that you enjoy spending your time with me and you are looking forward to the next date with me...

Lastly, you promised me that you will never do the same thing to me like what your ex did to you, which is to cut you off and ignore you completely out of the blue...

I miss the intimate kiss we had that night and the warmness of your body while I am sleeping next to you...

I miss the shy smile you gave me every time I smiled at you...

I miss the talks we had before we go to sleep...

I miss almost everything that we done together...

And, the fact that I still miss you hurts me even more than it should...

Since that last time I chat with you on Sunday, after your church performance, you no longer read nor reply to my messages... Even I saw you online on the other apps and dropped you numerous messages, you never reply to it... It has been a total of 4 days since I last saw your message... I really have no idea what I have done that made you treated me this way... I tried calling you but you never pick up my calls... To me, your promises has become my worst nightmare...

I was completely devastated for the past few days... Never imagine that the one hurts me the most was the one I love the most... 

Eventually, I have decided to forget you, and I will never forgive you for what you did to me until you give me a proper explanation... The question is, will I even have the chance to hear that explanation of yours???

The plant that you have entrusted me with, I will ensure that it grows happily like how we used to be...

My final words from me to you: Please stay healthy and be safe all the time...

If I am destined to be hurt this way, I am willingly to accept it for the fact that I love him too much...

Best New Year...

Ok... Usually during my new years, all I ever do are celebrate at home, listening to fireworks while playing my game... But for 2022, it is the most unusual new year I ever had in my entire life... To keep the story short, here how it goes...

Found a guy in the app last weekend and we chatted up... For some reason, we both really get along very well as we get to chat a lot with each other... Then on Monday night, both of us was too horny and we decided to video chat while being naked and bare my whole naked body to a stranger... I don't usually video chat with someone but I could not resist because he is extremely hot... He already decided to visit me at midnight even before we video chat that day itself... As we ended our call and waited till midnight, he Grab over and I picked him up...

As I do not want to type too much of what we did, we did what two horny guys will do together that night while he stayed overnight at my place... And when we woke up in the morning, I gave him a surprise wake up and we did another round... Then I fetch him back and we still keep in touch after that morning... We chat a lot and we share a lot about our daily life and stuff... That is how our first meet up begin with...

Things were going so well all along that he decided to visit me on new year's eve, whereby he came over to my house at midnight again (which is New Year 2020)... Before we sleep, we had some deep talk with each other, and did what we wanted to do... To be frank, never have I ever felt so connected chatting with someone like this... 

Therefore, this is the very first New Year whereby I woke up, sleeping next to a naked guy with me, kissing and cuddling each other when awake, gave him a good blowjob and I came so hard while sitting and jerk on top of him... This is definitely the best New Year I ever had in my entire life... And on New Year itself, we had our very first date (not so official date) and we both really enjoyed the time we spend together...

I had learned so much about him during this 1 week and I felt that he is really a wonderful, kind, responsible, protective, funny, smart and humble guy... These are basically what I know about him during this 1 week and probably, he have even more good things to be discovered... Things are just going so well for both of us and I can see hopes in the future between us...

Ok that's all I want to talk about my first post in 2022... Supposed to post this yesterday but was too tired and busy with my personal life... Therefore, I would like to wish everyone A HAPPY NEW YEAR OF 2022!!!

HAPPY NEW NYAAAAAAA~~~