And It Has Ended...

In a blink of an eye, the holiday has ended... It was something I've waited for and now it just... Ended... The truth is I would like to go somewhere for vacation during such long holiday but going alone is just not right and my group of friends are not free at all... Thus, it felt so weird that people were enjoying during the long holiday while I'm just staying at home most of the time as if doing nothing much... However and surprisingly to say, I enjoy staying at home doing nothing during this long holiday... Although I can spend my holiday in a better way, I am satisfied with it...

I have to say this... Regardless of how life is, one shall deserve a long, great, relaxing holiday because you deserves it... :)



I wouldn't mind paying an amount of money just to get myself pampered in a luxurious vacation hehehe :P

And Things Moves On...

The fact that seeing one by one leaving the company is kinda heart breaking (basically just sad xD)... Well this is normal but that's what life is about... Nobody will stay on a place unless they find no reason or purpose to change... For me, I have been trying to find another job all this time but the one I am interested does not want me while those I am not interested eagers to offer me... Why such a life???

I kept asking myself... Will I ever achieve my dream job one day??? Is like I did not study or take any major related with game programming but I still have the extreme determination to work and learn at the same time... Yet, I was given a chance for that and I just dump it myself which makes me overwhelm with regrets by thinking back...

Seriously... What type of job I should be looking for now??? Purely there are 2 paths for me right now: A game company that is willing to hire me as a newbie or; A a non-gaming company that is willing to hire me with a good pay... There are only 2 choices I have in my life right now... Pick one... Either one of it is fine with me...



When will that opportunity arrives???

When Things Change...

This time I am emphasizing more on people around me... Thank goodness that my secondary friends was always in a close relationship with me... The difficult part which I am currently facing is my colleagues... Though there are a few close one but there are a few which I find it difficult to understand... I will get straight to the difficult ones...

One of them is acting very strange since he resigned... Not sure if he was trying to hide something BUT I am very sure he is acting differently... He never talk to us or even lunch with us as if he had completely cut off his relationship with our group... Even though it was slightly difficult to approach him as he have this eye candy factor, but I noticed that this type of attitude that comes with the eye candy factor is deeply disappointing... He may be rich, famous, or whatever you can name it, it doesn't mean you can just neglect the relationship that we built together... Is like, does the fun time we spent together even rings in your mind??? I can be honest... I will never forget the fun time I spent with the friends I am close with... Unless I hate that person, it will never be memorable in any way... So to you, are we even worth remembering??? Cause if your answer is no, I think it will ease our thoughts a lot more than it seems to be... In the end, all I ever smell is disappoinment and the fun time we had turns out to be sorrow...

Now move on to the second one... I knew him for long enough and eventually I am already get used to the attitude he had... He has the weirdest attitude which I never see before in my life... Though I can say his attitude will not help him in this society but what I can do is wish the best out of him... I can just choose to completely ignore his attitude (although sometimes he really set me on fire) but I think I can tolerate it very well... His always-speak-the-truth-and-piss-people-off-instantly attitude is definitely not something I have ever seen in my life till I met him... Besides this, one of his most annoying attitude is being childish... You are a god damn adult... If you leaving a group or hate someone for the rest of your life just because they comment on your attitude, you better stay away from the society...

Actually there are still a lot of things to type from me but I need to catch my sleep for now... Perhaps I will continue one day...




For your own good, change that attitude... If I'm the one that cause you to change your attitude, speak or tell me right in my face... You don't need to pretend cause when I'm really pissed off by you, I will make it so obvious that you should realise what you are doing...

Moving On...

Though I have to say that I'm a little bit sad but I already expected this... I did not really put a high hope for it... Although the joyful time I've spent while waiting for the annoucement is absolutely entertaining, the disappointment however brought me envy more instead...

Anyway it won't cause me depress any longer as I had prepared for this outcome... So what is my next step??? Continue to find a better wage job that I like :)

Not giving up on buying a house for sure... Probably until I settle all the debts and get my financial back on track first...



Don't think there will be anything to motivate me for now... Told myself to keep moving on but is that even possible now???

But Why???

They say they had selected the finalists but I just can't see who are the finalists right now... Does the finalists themselves know they were selected or the organizer supposed to list out their names??? Did the finalists receive a call or message??? Did the finalists were notified in some method??? I am completely in confusion as I wanted to know if I'm the chosen one... Even I know the chances for me to be selected is very low, at least tell me so I can accept the truth and move on rather than leaving me hanging now...

How am I going to sleep like this???




But why??? Just tell me immediately whether I am the chosen one or not :'(

What Will Happen???

I may sound a little bit greedy provided that I am more fortunate than few people... But what if I really became rich one day and what will I do???

1. I will do something that deemed helpful when someone needs it, even without having the person asking for it... If that person personally ask me and I think I can help, it will be my utmost pleasure to help them...

2. I will definitely invite my friends over to my house, anytime and anyday (of course when I'm at home)... And it is even more welcome if my family members would love to visit me :)

3. I will have a drastic change in my lifestyle... Why??? More hardcore routine on swimming and might pick up more physical activities... Not just for the sake of exercising, but maybe going to get myself on shape xD

4. Start to learn cooking or baking for the sake of fun!!! Nobody would have imagine that I bet HAHAHAHA!!!

5. This one is a little private... As I don't have the guts to do it when I'm staying with my family, but I will definitely sleep naked when I'm living alone :P

6. Try to put on cologne and buy more apparels as I will have my own wardrobe... Say no more to clothes fresh from the basket ahahahaha!!!

I believe there are few more to note down but I better stop here for now and get some sleep...



Wonder why I always sleep so early... Perhaps, this is a symptom of being an old man???

Sick Of It...

I am just being sick of having them telling me the same old thing everytime I get sick... I understand very clearly that they care about me but it just doesn't sound right or caring at all to me... Saying things like I did not get enough sleep or drink coffee every morning is just very tiring to hear... I know my own body more clearly than they do and I know how to take good care of it... Their comments are not supportive and at the same time, it is just purely pissing me off everytime I hear it...

Don't they get tired saying the same thing for the past few years everytime I fall sick???

I already have a lot of things to be bothered with... That's why not staying with your family has its pros and cons for sure...



Just let me be who I am... And I wanted to be alone more than ever now...

Good Vibes...

It has been some time and I started to feel--- Naturally good... Good in terms of vibes and even though I'm not saying that good things will definitely happen to me cause I do not want to give myself too much hopes as well, I just wish that there is a point of living forward in my life... Regardless of what it may be, staying happy and positive is always better...

On the other hand, my mom asked me a weird question today... She asked if I have a girlfriend or not... I really do not know how to answer her this everytime she asks me because I really do not have the guts to say "Mom I'm not marrying until I am at least 40"... I do not want to disappoint her as well but I am really not in the stage or mood to get married yet... Or maybe I might not even consider of marrying... Living a single, independent life is actually not as bad as it seems... I understand that all parents' dreams is to see their children getting married and at least get to play with their grandchildren... Perhaps my generations have a different mindset... Nevertheless, I still love my parents (excluding the part where they always argue when talks about money) :)



If I have a choice, I will go for winning the house with my best effort...