Friday, December 6, 2019

This Is Me...

For the last 2 months, I was placed or assigned to work in my client office. Initially, I was very excited and determined to work for this project because I can see that I will get to learn a lot of things. It is true. Within the last 2 months, I've learned a lot about insurance. Everything went well until last month, I start to realise something is not right, or maybe it was never right to begin with. This is not what I expected and definitely not something that I want to do. Unfortunately, there will be a conclusion this time. And a not so favourable one.

As time passes by, I try to understand what I'm supposed to. I do what I can and write it out. I was very confident with my understanding on what I'm assigned to and as usual, it don't seem to be wrong. Of course there might be some missed out info as I could not grasp everything in a moment. But it shouldn't be as bad as how it could be. Well. BAMMMM! My superior says that I missed out the main point. My superior says that I wrote it incorrectly. My superior says that what I have written are mostly irrelevant. At this point, what I really understand about myself is that I don't understand anything at all. It was depressing. It does not happen once. Not twice. Not trice. It is everytime. I tried my best to think and put it down yet I can't achieve what I'm supposed to. It is clear to me that I am not fit to be involved in this project.

One. I am a complete burden not just to my superior but the whole project team.

Two. I'm not contributing anything at all.

Three. I'm wasting everyone's time and effort.

I don't mind being known as an asshole for leaving this project so sudden. My sudden departure definitely gives a bad impression to my company but I have to decide something rather than dragging the entire project down and cause unnecessary inconvenience to others.

I am at a state now where I will never be productive, permanent shut down, slightly depressed just thinking about it and useless. I'm going to speak out everything and let my boss know that I can never continue and this is definitely something I have to apologise.



I can foresee that my departure would make this project a more successful one.

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Disappointments...

Tried out Grindr and I thought it was a good app to meet up with some hot guys and chat with them... But reality sucks... Either they are fake, just taking advantages out of you, not keen on showing face, or worst, asks you to register for some shit... I'm not blaming them as everyone has their own taste... Just that, this is not something I'm looking forward to being disappointment is way much more than able to have some fun...

I felt deeply sad that I get to see those hot guys in there lingering around but me myself knowing that I will never get my hands on them... All I want is just to feel some body...

Same goes to the guy I met in the gym... Guess I will never have the chance to make him mine...



Sigh...........

Saturday, November 9, 2019

FML #2

Ok... I'm so fucked up... To keep everything short, I am asking for God assistance again this time to really help me with this... Please allow me to see the guy that made me swoon by winking at me... I just want to get his number, that's all... So please and please, let me see him again...

I never expect that I will get this torturing feeling after few months... How am I going to move on tonight at this state???



Dear God please please please please please really really really really really help me... I just do not want to torture myself further emotionally...

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

FML!!!

Just to stop by to write how farked up is my life... Currently I am stationed at my client's office and I totally lost all my time to gym... I'm only able to go during weekends and now I am trying very hard to find some time to go during weekday night... My life is totally farked up... The fact that after work, I will be exhausted as fark and I am totally unable to push myself to gym... I even thought of trying to swim after work but sadly to say, I am exhausted as fark...

Now, my life is so unhealthy... I felt guilty that I am paying so much just to go gym during weekend... I hate this so much... FML!!!



FARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

Monday, September 30, 2019

Well...

Life is getting tougher from this point onward... Very likely I won't get to enjoy my life as usual but this life should give me slightly more money... Not a good thing for sure, not a bad thing either... All I hope is I can be richer xD

Oh yes... Almost forgot... P Cubed is a nice compilation album... Love some of the remastered version and it gives a good overall feel of Perfume's career... You won't hate their songs at all, only less preferred...

And now, enjoy this song:





NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~

Friday, September 20, 2019

Whoa!!!

It has been 2 weeks since I update my blog... I am totally occupied and busy for the last 2 weeks whereby I have meetings everyday during working days... Crazy!!! And this will not end as I have to attend few more meetings till end of this month... It's gonna be long long long days ahead...

Now a summary of my 2 weeks (accordance to the most important to least):

1. One interesting thing happened recently... I won't go in detail but, to the fucking hot guy that wears a tank top with the wording "Fucking Threesome", fuck you for being so hot and good looking...

2. As I went for meeting for 2 full weeks, most of my lunch are covered by clients or bosses... And since I do not need to drive, I saved a lot from parking fee and petrol but I have to sacrifice my gym time completely...

3. Last Saturday morning when I go to gym, a cute girl kept looking towards my direction... I wonder what is her intention :P

4. Finally took the initiative to vacuum (but not completely clean) my PC which covered in DUST!!! Not good enough have to clean it inside out next time...

5. Still waiting to get the key to my house... Neck also long liao lorrrr...

6. I'm addicted to Cherry Garcia WTF!!!


Ok I better stop else I will type even more nonsense... To conclude, somehow, I feel my life is more refreshed now LOLZ!!!



Should I join SPAO x Honor competition??? LOLZ!!!

Friday, September 6, 2019

Ice Creammmmmmm~~~

OK  I heard of Ben & Jerry like a lot of times but never really bother to try it because I only know the closest place to Malaysia that sells Ben & Jerry is Singapore... And because of that as well, I would not spend 3 times of my currency just to eat the ice cream at Singapore... Now the good news is, Malaysia opened its very first Ben & Jerry outlet and of course, I have to try it... I tried their signature flavour, Cherry Garcia and I know why this ice cream is so damn popular... I have never tasted such flavourful cherry ice cream (even other cherry flavoured candies are not as good as their ice cream) in my entire life and it totally won my heart... The taste is incredible... As a cherry lover, I have to say this is the best cherry flavoured food I ever had... Like seriously...

There are still a dozen of flavour I had yet to try... Probably will try it when I'm free :P



Cherry lover please raise your hands!!! 

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

LOL...

Ok... My brain is going wild... Gotta distract myself with something...

I rarely have contents to post up recently and this explains why there are not many posts... I was kinda busy since last 2 weeks and now I don't have much interesting things to write about... I wish I could have more fun things to write as well... Nevertheless, I will try my best to constantly update my blog.

Before ending this post, please listen to this:





Best song from her latest album :)

Monday, August 19, 2019

GG-ed...

3rd week of August... Just 2 more weeks to hang on... Struggling with my financial again... Next month, I will have to (MUST) cut my parents allowance... Is not gonna be easy months ahead for me but I still need to live my life through it... When will that time comes??? When will the time where I am debt free comes???

Moving on... It has been 2 busy consecutive week for me... That is why I did not blog for quite some time... The last 2 weeks, I have meeting for my new project... I would say this project sounds very very interesting and it actually might give a good impression to my resume as well... I might consider working for another year or 2 before deciding to change lolz... Well, we should appreciate all the opportunities given in our life...

Once again, my ranting post has come to an end... When will be my next ranting post about financial??? LOLZ!!!



Sorry that I must cut my parents allowance for real these few months...

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Updates...

1. Got myself a box of new underwear... First time trying Renoma brand and it is microfiber... Felt comfortable in it... Gotta test it for gym :P

2. Recently I've been playing this mobile game called Chess Rush... Very similar to what I played in League of Legend's Team Fight Tactics mode...

3. Still waiting for my house...

4. Started to love freeballing while sleeping...

5. So many home expo or fairs for this month... I guess I should be ready for one of it...

6. Yet to find a contractor for renovation.... Only have the perfect idea for my kitchen... Not sure about my living hall... Rooms and toilets do not require any renovation I believe...

7. Trying very very very very very hard to gain mass so my muscles can be visibly growing...



My life is great, just not financially lolz...

Halpppp...

Friday, August 2, 2019

Being A Model...

One thing that did crosses my mind is being a model as a part-time job... What with this sudden post is because I've been thinking once in a while if working as a part-time modelling would it be a good thing for me or not rather than doing massage... Plus, since I'm working my ass off in getting a pleasant looking body, it won't be a waste as well... Sadly, what I know for sure is there are wayyyyyyyyyyyy more people out there who looks better (body) than I do... Any chance for me to be modelling for a product??? 0.00001% that would be LOLZ!!!

I don't plan to publicise my modelling nature to any of my family and friends as I will be doing it with my boyfriend... If somehow it goes all the way to any of my friends or family, then well, I can just shook them off by saying I'm doing it with my friends for fun only... Whether I get paid or not it doesn't matter as long as I'm really enjoying it :P

There is still a long long way for me to work my body out... Whether I get to be a model is not important but I just want to feel and experience some moment in being a model that's it... Not for fame, not for attention but for experience...



And all this plan will only begin when he comes to KL...

I really need to have my own privacy now... Lolz...


Thursday, July 25, 2019

Functioning...

Yes... Finally my brain is back to normal... I am functioning properly... I can focus on my work... I am so glad that my brain can restore back to it original state... Now less one burden in my mind...

However now I am burdened by financial, which is always there all the time lolz...

And I am playing a new Facebook game called Hero Wars...

Then the right side of my earphone RIP...

I don't feel stress but I feel weird cause I do not know what else to type on my blog now... Lolz...

And my house... It looks great...



NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~

Friday, July 19, 2019

Oh No...

Oh yes... I'm financially struggling again xD

I do not have many client requesting for massage recently, therefore I can't earn side income much... Given that it is half of the month now, I can survive with what I'm having now but nothing extra from it... So no luxurious food, no shopping, nothing... Massage is a must cause I can't live without it... Other than that, NO!!!

The fact that I am being far away from my boyfriend makes me feel bad... Is like when he is down, I can't support him in any way, just messages... We don't fancy phone calls as of now maybe because we both know we prefer to talk face to face rather than over the phone... It does hurt to see your boyfriend struggling while you can't do anything to help him... All I want to wish for is giving him the best health so that he can live a normal, healthy life...



Please keep him healthy while I'm not around him...

Thursday, July 11, 2019

Renovation...

Before looking for which interior designer can provide the best price with best features for my new house renovation, there is one thing I need to do:

Find my desired fridge and get its measurements

Why I said that is because if I wanna build cabinets or compartment that nicely fit in my fridge, I will need the right measurement for it so the interior designer can quote the right price according to how much needs to be built... It is a fun procedure but at the same time, time consuming if you wanna get the best bucks out of it... Finding interior designers with good workmanship is another issue that I have to consider... Given that my sink is against the wall and since I wanted to shift my sink into the islands, extra plumbing work is required... Therefore, more work, more consideration, and more cost xD

The only thing I hope for now is not to have my work schedule clashes with my renovation period... My brain will explode lehhh...



ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Monday, July 8, 2019

Building The Group...

I was given a responsibility to recruit more guys into this so called "Group of friends" which allow us to hangout, travel, do this do that and anything that comes to our mind together... A group of friend that can just enjoy everything together is not easy to come by because we need to make sure every new guy that joins into the group has to be comfortable with all the other guys in the group... This will be the only most difficult task to achieve... Other than that, we are adults so they can eventually iron things out themselves...

So, I don't know what to further comment on this since it is very new... We will see how it goes from now...



WHYYYY!!!

Thursday, July 4, 2019

LOL...

Ok there are few things I need to address... Let me just put it in point form for easier reading purposes:

1. My Facebook friends (the young or around my age group of friends) are getting married one by one... Indeed it is a happy occasion for them and I am happy and glad to see them marry their other half... Well, for me, I won't say that I am sad given that I am dating someone, just that having a boyfriend makes me feel like I'm not blending well with the group of straight couples getting married... I believe even we can't get married, but I am definitely happy being together with someone I love for the rest of my life and I think this is suffice for me... I don't really wanna think much about how to deal with it in the future so let's just say, we will go with the flow... This is my life and I do not want to hide anything at some point anyway :P

2. MY HOUSE!!! MY BELOVED HOUSE OMG!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A VERY LONG TIMEEEEEEE!!! Nothing beats the joy of owning your own house... I just can't wait to move in, that's all... And yes, another sum of money to be placed into it... Happy guy with sad financial...

3. The last and most annoying thing, my job... I really have almost zero interest in getting my work done... This is obviously not good but I can't help it with the fact that I just can't concentrate... Frankly speaking, the current thing I'm doing is not so interesting to me (but the upcoming big project is something I'm looking forward to) and this is one of the reason why I'm losing determination to do... I just don't know why I am not even slightly motivated to do anything... I feel so useless right now... Another reason is my boss didn't give me the next level of incentive for the last 3 months lorrr...


Ok 3 important points has been pointed out... Now, there are so many things I need to think about ahead and I'm not sure if I can cope with all of it or not now... I just feel so pressured and stressed nowadays...



I need to breath...

Friday, June 28, 2019

SOON!!! REALLY SOON!!!

(YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!)


The time is coming very very very soon... So so so happy to see it... The swimming pool... UGHHHH!!! Such a masterpiece... Can't wait to get my key and settle everything down as soon as possible... And just hope everything progress smoothly... I know my life is not that easy lolz...



LALALALALA~~~

Thursday, June 20, 2019

The End...

That's it... Not because I pity but I start to feel that feeling towards him... And I am officially dating someone, through whatsapp message on 20th June 2019... Ok probably not dating, but more of like a starting of something... I would say dating will begin on the first day he land on KL... I really don't know what else to type because I am just too happy about it... He is the type of guy where I would not mind pampering... Given that he is not high maintenance (just a little bit unhygienic), I think this makes us match so well even though he has better style than I do... Next is I am going force him to stop smoking completely even before he hits 28... This is definitely for his own good and most importantly, I don't like smokers...

OK all I ever know is, once he is in KL, this is where everything gonna start...



I'm very lazy to type a long story that's it lol

Monday, June 17, 2019

It's Coming Back...

Yes... It is coming back to me now... That same feeling I had when I first met "S", then
"J" and now him, "W"... Every night, around 3 or 4 AM, I would be awaken abruptly just because of thinking about them... It is more than enough to make me wide awake thinking about them... I find this effect extremely exhausting cause once I woke up, I can't immediately fall back to sleep... Usually I have to rely on songs or music for an hour before I can get back into slumber... And then, when the alarm rings, I felt HORRIBLE!!!

I really don't know how to cope with these feelings... The worst is when things are unsure, whether it is a yes or no, a successful or a failed one... I understand that it takes time to develop... However, when I set my eyes on something that I really want, I must have it...

I have prayed for God assistance regarding "S"... Then I have prayed for God assistance regarding "J" as well... Now, will there be a 3rd time, praying for God's assistance for my love life on a guy??? Lolz...



Why does it have to be this tough???

Friday, June 14, 2019

Again... Why???

Met a guy on Tinder yesterday and started to have conversation with him... This thing that always bug me is why does these guys, going into a dating app just to find their other half and swipe me right, and once we got matched, they never bother asking me questions??? You want to date me, obviously you need to know me more but if you don't ask me, how do you know more about me??? I am always the one that asking and I felt very clingy if I keep doing that... All I want is just a normal conversation between both of us so that we can start things normally...

I guess life is hard lolz...



Life is never meant to be easy LOLZ!!!

Thursday, June 13, 2019

My Tinder Story...

Just a quick lol moments that I would like to highlight... I've been using Tinder for a year and although I am not so active with it, every time I uses it and try to swipe for some girls and guys, the results are me matching with guys all the time, not even once for a girl... I find this hilarious for some reason and I am still thinking how could this happen lolz... Is it because I don't look manly enough on my Tinder profile???

Oh well I don't really care much to be honest... As long as things goes well, I will move on with it lolz...



Shortest Tinder story ever lolz!!!

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Oh No...

I have know "N" for at least a year... And given that we met each other for the first time in the sauna, it was rather interesting and fun... After that, he went back to his home and for the next few months, there we meet again at Kuching... This time, I am staying over at his house and I really appreciate the time, energy and even petrol that he spent on me during my stay there... And we went to Kota Kinabalu together, just the two of us and we had a blast island hopping... We laughed a lot... We enjoy our trip a lot... We enjoy accompanying each other a lot... And since we had some fun in the hotel together as well, I would say it was the best trip in my entire life with a guy... No doubt...

Now... Things get complicated... He seems to have fallen for me... I did used to like him when we met for the first time but as time goes by, it diminishes... I don't have much feelings for him... I still like him as who he is but I can't seem to relate myself as a lover to him... I feel kinda bad just by thinking about it... I really do not want him to fall for me too deep and ended up having me telling him the truth... On the other hand, I never have someone in my life which make me feels comfortable as he does but it feels like I am giving up my chances to other girls or guys out there if I ended being with him... Or maybe he is the one and only one in my life that could give me the so called love... What am I supposed to do now???



Am I really ready to commit for it???

Friday, May 31, 2019

Kuching/Kota Kinabalu Food Stop #2

Moving on to my next review:

(Welcome Seafood Restaurant squid is a must!!!)

I am the type of person that do not crave for sotong (squid) that much. But since my friend is a fanatic of squid, hence we tried their squid dish. The other 2 dishes are Kangkong Belacan and Sour Plum Chicken. As for the drink, I ordered a Luo Han Guo while my friend had his plain water.

Ok. There's nothing much to talk about the beverages so I will just move on to the food. The only vegetable dish, Kangkong Belacan, I would say it taste close to what I can eat in KL. It has a good belacan flavour to it (although I prefer heavier belacan flavour) but the only difference is KL's Kangkong Belacan are spicier compared to this one. Probably Sabah people does not eat that spicy like how KL people does. As for the Sour Plum Chicken, it was quite a surprise for me. Not something that can be found in KL easily. I can roughly imagine how it taste like in my mind before taking my first bite but it caught my attention once it enters my mouth. It punches my mouth with quite a strong sourness followed by a mild sweetness aftertaste. I mean, I never had a sour plum food or beverage that delivers such strong sourness in my entire life and this is where it caught my attention. The taste overall is not bad and if you love sour food, this could be one of your favourite. I have to say, this dish is definitely worth ordering. Now the final dish, which is the only seafood that we ordered in a seafood restaurant, Dry Curry Sotong (I can't recall what is the exact name of this dish so I will just go with this). First impression, it looks exactly like dry curry sauce. Second, it taste exactly like dry curry sauce that I can have in KL but less spicier. Third, the texture of the squid is absolutely succulent. Conclusion, I freaking love it!!! I am always a big fan of dry curry style and this dish delivers the exact taste that I expected. Given that it is less spicier, the fragrant of the dry curry spices stand strong on each pieces of the succulent squid (thanks to the fresh seafood they have), giving it a mouthful explosion of flavours whenever you pop in a squid. Even my friend fall in love with this dish and he's still craving for it up until today. Totally love it.

To sum things up, I do recommend this place for their sotong (squid). I believe all the other seafood dishes such as fish or prawns are gonna be as fresh as the squid so you can give it a try if you want. However, do note that the price is quite steep BUT the portion of every dishes are huge which compensates back the price a little. Since we only ordered 3 dishes, all the 3 dishes are definitely worth the price for the taste and portion. You will enjoy it for sure. I will give this a 5/5 with the following breakdown:

Location: 1 - It is located within Kota Kinabalu Waterfront vicinity, which you can easily get a Grab car around there and reach the restaurant within 10 minutes. It is within walking distance if you stay close to Hilton Kota Kinabalu.

Food & Beverages: 1 - 3 dishes. No complains. Squid was fantastic. Hefty price but reasonable portion. Worth it.

Price: 1 - The price falls on the high side but compensated by the reasonable portion. Price ranges from minimum RM15 per dish for non-seafood.

Atmosphere: 1 - A typical restaurant. It occupies the whole stretch of shop lots (at least 5 or 6 lots). Clean and spacious. Comfortable.

Service: 1 - Staffs are friendly. The serving of dishes was fast as well.


Jalan Asia City
Pusat Bandar Kota Kinabalu
88000 Kota Kinabalu
Sabah



Enjoy the food here~

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Kuching/Kota Kinabalu Food Stop #1

This blog purpose is to introduce some interesting new nice food (which I won't find it in KL) and probably I will do a very simple review of it. The first one will be this:

(Pinggai Cafe's fried rice is a must!)

The fried rice has a very unique taste. Although it has anchovies toppings as well, but it taste completely different from Nasi Goreng Kampung. It has a distinct aroma and flavour compared to the one in KL. However for me, the main star of the dish is their belacan. It is sour but at the same time, a very unique zesty punch with a mild spiciness that I could not resist eating it. So glad my other friend do not like it so I took all his belacan as well lolz. As for the other fried rice my friend ordered, it is Char Siew Fried Rice. Taste a little bit weird for me (probably because KL's char siew taste completely different as well) as the char siew taste I expected was completely different. Not to say that I hate it, just that not my preferences.

Moving on to the beverages. I ordered the Bandung Coffee and my friend ordered an Ice Lemon Juice. Ok. The Bandung Coffee was a let down. I don't fancy bandung but I expect that the drink could have a stronger bandung taste but to me, I don't taste any bandung except coffee in that entire glass. They should at least make the bandung taste slightly stronger so that people who loves bandung would appreciate it more. As for the Ice Lemon Juice, I FUCKING LOVE IT!!! It is indeed sour, but it has a very strong touch of lemongrass aroma in the drink. Imagine the taste of lemon sourness with the aroma of lemongrass. It really caught me by surprise and eventually, I drank the last few sips LOL.

Now. Here comes the finale. I would strongly recommend their original or plain fried rice (they have other fried rice such as Tempoyak Fried Rice) which feels very homey and if you love sour drinks, the Ice Lemon Juice is a must try. Overall, I will give it a 4/5 with the following breakdowns:

Location: 0.5 - This cafe is located on one of the alley along the Kuching Waterfront. Slight navigation required but it is not difficult to locate.

Food & Beverages: 1 - Fried rice is a yes. They have a lot of fried rice variety so do give it a try, and other dishes as well. Bandung coffee that has no bandung taste. Big letdown. The lemon juice was good though.

Price: 0.5 - In general, the cost is slightly above average of the prices you may find around nearby eateries. Price ranges from minimum RM10.

Atmosphere: 1 - A small shop with limited seats but overall comfy.

Service: 1 - Staff are extremely friendly and nice.


Pinggai Cafe
37, China St, 93000 Kuching, Sarawak



Why am I doing reviews for food now lolz...

Monday, May 27, 2019

My Kuching & KK Trip!!!

(I look funny lolz)

On 18th May, I went to Kuching for a trip, meeting a friend of mine. Frankly speaking, it is a long story and all I can do is shorten it by posting more pictures. This is a summary of where I have been to and interesting thing that happened.

Kuching:
- Going to gym with my friend and EATING of course
- Stayed a night in Damai Resort (picture above was taken at Damai Resort's swimming pool)
- We missed the flight on our checkout date and force to fly on the next day instead.

Kota Kinabalu: 
- Stay at Ming Garden Hotel and Residence. Got a free room upgrade. 
- Went to island hopping for 2 days. Been to Manukan, Mamutik, Sapi and Gaya Island. 
- Enjoy their food, especially their fresh seafood except their white tom yam which is sweet af.
- Nasi Paprik, red in the morning, white in the night (Don't ask me wtf is this)
- First time riding Grab for me
- Met a good looking Korean at the hotel. Never see him again after once.
- An intimate night that we could never forget

Before closing this post, this is a pic that I managed to take where both of us is in it xD





When would be our next trip together???

Friday, May 10, 2019

Yup!!!


For some reason, I really love this pic a lot... It shows the muscular side of me (I'm not very muscular but still acceptable I guess) and I just think I look very good in this pic given that this is not as naughty as the previous pic I have posted lol... Honestly speaking, if I don't view the pic back, I never see that my arms could look this muscular and sexy but that aside, I'm keeping this pic purely for future references only... So whoever that saw this pic, please forgive me OK???



Hopefully I can get more nice pics like this to post in the future HAHAHAHAHA!!! xD

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Ramadan...

Ramadan has begun since yesterday and this is what I want to sum up about Ramadan month:

1. RAMADAN BAZAAR OMG FOOD HEAVEN!!!
2. Less traffic congestion
3. Lack responses and slowness from the Muslims staff (not trying to talk bad of them but please be considerate of them if they never perform their duties at their best)
4. Prone to more accidents (which is why please please please be very careful and be considerate when you are on the road)


Apart from that, my plan to Kuching and Kota Kinabalu has been confirmed and I'll be flying to Kuching on the 18th... Can't wait to get fat LOLZ!!!
I am so gonna savour every single food that Kuching and KK can offer... Hit me baby one more time!!!

And here is the itinerary of my Kuching/KK trip:

Day 1 - Afternoon : Lunch, Unpacked, SALON, Gym sign up, Night : Shopping

Day 2 - Morning/Afternoon : hok-hai , Sight-seeing Bako National Park, Night : Gym , Damai booking

Day 3 - Morning : Laksa place, Cultural village, Afternoon : Damai Resort, Night : Buntao seafood

Day 4 - Morning : Gym, Afternoon/Nightime : Flight to KK , Check in hotel , Hang out around KK

Day 5 - Island hopping (Kayak and BBQ)

Day 6 - Island hopping (Snorkeling at islands that we never visit on Day 5)

Day 7 - Back to Kuching for last day


Looks good to me and this will be a long trip since I did not visit anywhere last year... All I need is some vitamin 'sea' LOLZ



I am ready for it!!!

Monday, April 29, 2019

Facial Skincare Routine...

Now I understand why Korean guys have such good face skin... They really took the time and money to buy those products that are suitable for them in order to achieve the good outcome... I mean, probably in other country, men doing facial skincare makes them less manly but when it comes to Korea, even the manliest man can have good looking skin for their face as in they don't look less manly with fair, clean, bright looking face...

Anyway, I really enjoy staying alone more and more after my Genting trip... Maybe because I don't get to enjoy it most of the time, when the time comes, I really enjoy it... The fact that most early 20s guys get to enjoy living alone or having their own room which I do not have such luxury until my 30, could be the thing that drives me wanting more to live alone... This is how I want my life to be...



Even if I do not have money to renovate my entire home, I will still move in first...

Saturday, April 27, 2019

My Solo Day!!!

(First time masking xD)

Yes... Finally I am all alone and do what I want to do without worrying anybody judging me lolz... Not to say judge but I just want to have this type of me and myself moment where I can do anything I love (no worries not gonna do illegal things)...

Next pic might be a little too much but I took this pic is just for a purpose of references for myself in the future:


Frankly speaking, I wish I am a little bit sexier lolz... But it does tell me that I used to be not fat... Gotta workout hard!!!



Weeeeeeeee~~~

Friday, April 26, 2019

Well...

As expected... Nothing good will ever happen to me most of the time... Gotta accept the fate that I have for the rest of my life... I am sulking and partially depressed but at the same time, I am always prepared for such things... Perhaps, my life would be better if I do not have high expectation of what I'm looking forward to... That's just how sad my life is lolz...

If there is something that I can change in my life, that would be my fragile heart...



If there is something that I wish for, that would be anything which will never make me depress...

Monday, April 22, 2019

Trying Something New...

For my facial skin care routine, all I ever did was cleansing it with some face cleaner and nothing else after that... However, I notice that the pores on my face becoming more visible and this somehow tells me that I should be changing my face cleaner... Without a doubt, I tried to do some research on the web and I ended up with 2 products, Origins from the US and Innisfree from Korea... I've picked Innisfree since cosmetic products from Korea are more trustable and because I am newbie in this skin care routine, I tried to pick something that is easier for me to apply... As recommended, I bought these 3 things:

1. A face cleanser
2. A toner
3. An all-in-one essence

I tried it for the first time and it does seems to be easy to deal with it... No fuss, just cleanse my face and leave the shower, wipe it dry, apply toner and the essence finally... Simple... I can't say much about the improvement it have on my face right now yet, but it looks promising so far as I notice smaller pores on my face and brighter complexion out of it...

Eventually, for a full facial skin care routine, there are 2 more steps that I did not perform yet which are:

1. Exfoliate
2. Moisturise

Exfoliation is a once or twice per week thing while moisturisers is a daily thing which should be done lastly after applying essence... However, I did not buy any exfoliating and moisturisers products BUT I do have some free free gifts that are able to exfoliate and moisturises as well, which I can use it if I wanted to for a few times... Guess I should give it a try since it will be wasted if I'm not using it right??? Lol...

Honestly speaking, I am still a completely newbie in this field and I will try my best to learn more along the way... The biggest struggle that I am facing now after I started my facial skin care routine is I can barely scratch my face when it is itchy lolz....



It is so much fun finding something new to do once in a while lolz...

Monday, April 15, 2019

Tell Me...

I have this bad omen, something bad is going to happen... I always believe of the curse that I have... The curse where every first good thing will never happen, and it tends to be miserable... So miserable that it will eventually leads me to depression... However, I told myself that this is a norm and I should just move on with my life... But this, I don't think I can ever get it through that easily... I really do not know what he is thinking about, and at the same time, have I done something that he dislikes... Indeed, I hinted way too much about how much I love him all these while but could it be possible that he find me being too clingy or something??? I am so desperate for an answer from him but I am afraid it will further destroy our friendship... After that message, he never even read or reply my question which makes me felt that he is starting to avoid me... I understand that we just met twice and if he found me annoying, I really really really hope he will tell me directly rather than ignoring me completely...

Ok... Again I am being selfish this time but I really really really hope that our Genting trip is not going to be cancelled due to anything bad between us... That's all I am asking for dear God... As long as I get to be with him just for that night, I will be extraordinary happy... Yes I do...



Please...

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Why???

Met him again last Friday night... To me, it is definitely a not so favourable night, not sure who is to be blamed as there are too many people involved out of the sudden... This is basically what happens:

1. As usual. Things goes well on the first half hour. We had a minor fun in shower.
2. We move on to the room. Hope that we both can have a good time.
3. Situation changed. He wanted to try threesome. I agreed cause I am willing to do anything just for him.
4. Went out to find someone. Frankly speaking, nobody really caught my attention because I only have my eyes set on him.
5. Found someone. Good looking but not hot. I am OK with him since I asked him to pick anyone he wants.
6. Threesome ended badly. He did not enjoy much, and I felt worst not because I did not get to enjoy but the 3rd guy used 2 of my condoms and nobody enjoy. Not awkward though.
7. Get along with him, and became friends, went for dinner together.
8. Met a friend of 3rd guy since we were OK for him to invite his friend together for dinner.
9. Known each other quite well, and went back home.
10. Once I reached home, I personally message him and ask what does he think about 3rd guy ask if we are couple. He say the truth is we aren't. I accept that. Then I ask him directly if he ever thought about we both as a couple, he replied no.

Ok based on the story above, yes I am glad that I met the 2 new guys (the 3rd guy treated us for dinner so I can forgive him on the condom) but overall, it was quite an unfavourable event or day for me. I am completely lost on what he thinks about me right now.



I really love him a lot actually. Not because of the fun we had but because of the person he is. Just that I am not sure what he thinks about me right now.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

How???

He acts hot and cold sometimes... It is extremely difficult for me to catch what he wants from me... I do message him once in a while so that I can see if he still has any interest on me... Well although we agreed to stay a night in Genting, but it is still far away and I'm really afraid that something not right might happen between us before the Genting trip (touch wood)... If I ever confess to him and he accepts it, will it be different from how it looks or feels like now??? The thing is, we will be only meeting for not even 5 times and if I confess to him on Genting, will he able to accept it??? There are so many uncertainties that makes me ponder more than ever... The more I think about it, the more further I felt from being with each other...

Ok... I gotta think of doing something with him after dinner... That's it...



Action is louder than words!!!

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

27th April 2019...

It feels so far away... The day where we will spend a night together... There are so many thoughts in my mind right now... I am so happy, anxious, excited, and any emotions that can fills it in... I've been waiting for this moment since that day we met... The fact that we can't go Bangkok together, this trip will be an important one for me... I thought of so many things that we both can do... Honestly speaking, I prefer that we both can go on Bangkok trip together rather than a 1 night stay trip...

The more I would like to meet him, the more difficult time passes by...



Don't stray too far away from me T_T

Monday, April 8, 2019

Near Yet Far...

Will be meeting him this week, but it would be on Friday... Feels so close yet so far... Can't wait to see him again, the one and only person that is willing to meet me again when I asked for another meet up... Usually others will ignore me after our first meet up but I understand very clearly that they found out that they are not fond of me so it is fine... I did the same thing so I could not blame them at all... But him, the very first guy that really fond of me as much as I fond of him which I never experience before... I can definitely smell love between us... And I really hope it does :)

Right now, I need to keep myself cool and not overthinking too much by looping Kill This Love... I have to stay cool and chill until we meet up on Friday night... So torturing...



Dear Brain, you can do it!!!

Friday, April 5, 2019

RAMPAPAMPAPAMPAPAM!!!



Ok... I'm dead... This song is fucking awesome... I have to say even better than Ddu Du Ddu Du... Going to loop this for as long as I can!!!

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Over Obsessive...

I do have this mental complexity where if I fall for someone, I will never stop thinking about that person... I have the tendency to ask a million questions so that I could know that person more... However, in this case, I felt completely like a creep, an over obsessive person that wants to know every single thing the person is doing at this moment... The more that person replies to my questions, the more I wanted to ask... It is very difficult for me to stop because in my mind, all I ever thought of was I wanted to know this person more deeply... I can easily have emotional crash if we failed to meet on an appointed date... That's when my mind will ask me if that person is trying to avoid me or that person finds me annoying or something... I just can't get these things sorted out accordingly by myself... Of course, I still know how to interpret based on their reply whether they are interested with me... Once I got the message, I will eventually understand and stop communicating completely...

I really have so much things going on in my mind... It's like a battlefield... What am I supposed to do make that person feels comfortable and I do not being so obsessive at the same time???



Douyatte?!?!?!

Monday, April 1, 2019

Last Friday Night!!!

Ok I have to write out this story of mine... There is no fucking way I won't record this moment in my blog...



(WARNING: NSFW)



I've decided to meet up with a guy that I met from the forum. I added him on WeChat, had a conversation for a day, exchange some pictures of ours and plan for a meetup on Friday night (there was quite a long story before this but I'll skip it straight to the best part). Before we even met, I was already impressed by how his look and sexiness. No doubt, I told myself, that I like him a lot. Usually, Friday night has the WORST traffic but that night, it was seriously a miracle. The traffic was completely smooth as hell (and for him too) and that was the very first time I had such smooth driving on a Friday night. Hence, both of us reached the sauna downstairs, we met and we went up together. At the counter, we paid the entrance fee, head over to the dressing area, undress, grab a drink and we go for our shower together. This is how the story starts.

As we enter the shower area, it was completely empty. Nobody around, just the 2 of us in the shower area. As we take off our towel and hang it up, we move to the shower (an open shower) and wash ourselves up. At this point, we did not engage in anything. One reason is I did not initiate anything cause I really do not want to scared him the moment we met. Plus, he was very shy because he kept avoiding long eye contact with me every time I look at him. I think that was fine as he looks cute by doing that. When we are almost complete, more people walks into the shower and have their eyes set on us. After a minute, he left the shower first, followed by me. I told him that I need to use the toilet and he patiently waited for me outside for a minute or two (thank you). Once I'm done, I invited him for jacuzzi together and he nod. There were 2 other guys in the jacuzzi. As we both unwrapped our towel and enter the jacuzzi, everyone in the jacuzzi was looking at us. Nothing scary nor weird though. We move to one corner, and seat separately. Basically during the jacuzzi, we just asked each other questions and nothing much involved. After a long moment of silence, I guess this is the time. I invited him to the steam room, he agreed and we left the jacuzzi in hope that we did not catch too much people's attention. We wrapped ourselves in towel, and move on to the next stop.

I opened the door to the steam room. As a gentleman, I had to hold the door for him since it was my habit. As we get right into the steam room, he automatically leads me to the section where it was considered a hidden spot of the steam room. We sat down closed to each other, gazed at each other for few seconds, and I make my first move. I gently move my lips toward his, kisses his sweet lips and we both starts to make out in no time. While we were kissing, we both pulled each other closer so that our body made a contact and it went on for a few minutes. At some point, I know that I have to spice things up. He told me before that his ears turns him on a lot. Therefore, after some kisses, I slide my lips all the way to his right ear and start licking his ear thoroughly. I can see that he loves it as he moan erotically. On top of licking his right ear, I nibbled his ear and kiss around his neck area as well to give him some new sensation. Once I'm done with the right side of his ears, I went on with the left side. Again, he moaned again as I was licking all over his ear. After playing with his ears, my dominant mode was activated. I slowly kiss and lick all the way down from his left ear to his chest, on his well defined pecs and straight for his nipple. He did mention that nipple was not his sensitive spot but I still wanted to savour his nipple. I suck his nipple while giving him handjob and after a minute, I slide my lips across to the other side of his chest. Now, it was the finale. I slowly kiss and lick from his nipple down towards his abs, and all the way to his dick. At that moment, his dick was hard enough for me to give him a good suck. Without hesitation, I slurp up his erected dick and give him a slow and gentle blowjob. No regret. I could not help to see and hear him moan while I sucking him while I caress all over his body with my hands. For a good few minutes, I was a little bit tired and decided to stand up to stretch myself. Eventually, he move his head over to my dick and this time, he return the favour while I was standing. While he was sucking me, I bend myself and kiss him all over his back and neck. It was a very arousing moment for me because I know there are people started to gather around the steam room just to see both of us from all the moans. As he was sucking me while I kisses his neck, I moaned close to his ears in hope that he loves my moaning as well. Not long after, I decided to sit down just to make out with him. At this point, my eyes were completely set only for him, ignoring everyone else. While we were making out passionately, a guy approached us and some of them gave us a blowjob. As I notice the crowd is getting more in that small steam room, now I invited him to the room. Things get hotter from now on.

We wrapped ourselves and leave the steam room. I told him that I need to grab my supplies before we get into the room together and of course, to grab some drinks as well. Without wasting any time, we move quickly into one of the room and locked the door. We removed our towel, hang it up, throw my supplies to the ground, and I immediately make out with him. It was such a pleasure to make out with him the whole time even without thinking of anything else. It just felt so peaceful when I'm with him. At one point, I took control over his hands and place it above his head with his armpit exposed. Given that he clean shaved his pits, I immediately lick and kiss his pits without hesitation as well. This was the very first time I enjoy pit licking. After a few minutes, I decided to ask him if he is ready and he said yes. So I put on my condom and give him some lube while I lube my condom up as well. As he was lubing up himself, I squeeze quite a generous amount of lube to my fingers and I started to finger him while I kiss him again. Surprisingly, he moaned when I fingered and kiss him at the same time, which I found it attractive.

On our first position: Cowboy. I lied down on my back instantly while having him ready to ride me. As I placed myself comfortably, I hold my dick up so he could fit his hole nicely into it. One thing I admire about him is he never flinched or complain about being in pain when he ride me. It was so smooth that he gets in instantly. Of course, I have to ask him if everything is OK. He replied yes. As a top, we need to ensure that our bottom is at their most comfortable state. As soon as he is set, we are ready to go. He moves up and down and I was doing my humping motion as well to ensure that my dick hits deep inside it. At the same time, I give him a handjob to heightened his senses. I won't say I am an experienced top and I thought he might not enjoy much from it. But things feel different when one thing happened, while he was riding me, he had orgasm from it, handsfree. That moment when he was enjoying and moaning while riding me and had his orgasm twice, he look so fucking hot. I speed myself up and hump him even faster so that it does not stop that momentum that he had that time. Unfortunately after the 2nd orgasm, he stopped having handsfree orgasm. I still let him ride me for another one good minute but I feel that he might be a little exhausted, hence I asked him to change to:

Our second position: Missionary. This time, he lies down and I will do all the job. In this position, it was not a favourable position for him since he can't feel the excitement much from it, as I started to get tired, we move on to:

Our third position: Doggy. By having him on his fours, I hump him from the back. Not a favourable position as well, then we get back to:

Our fourth position: Missionary. As we both starts to get exhausted, I want him to lie down while I do my best to pleasure him. On our fourth position, it was another hot moment because I was totally soaked with my own sweat at this point as if a water pipe was burst. My sweat keeps dripping down to his body while we are on our missionary position. I apologised for a few times about it but to my surprise, he actually love sweaty sex as much as I do. Therefore, I push myself as much as I could to get the job done at this point. Unfortunately, we still can't achieve what we want to. Then we move on to:

Our fifth position: Cowboy. The position where he enjoy the most. Probably due to exhaustion, we both do not have enough energy to push as hard as our first time, which results in no orgasm from him even though he ride me hard. Not long after, I can see that he is exhausted and I asked him to stopped. As he was riding me while I get into my sitting position (my dick is still in his), we both cuddle each other and make out for a short period while we try to get our breathe. Finally:

Our last position: Standing. While we both are standing, I asked him to bend a little with his hands on the wall for support and I penetrate him from the back. This position seems to be the second most favourable position for him because while we are on it, he requested me to do it faster and I found out that his dick was wet as well. Eventually, I hump myself to the max and I have to stop due to complete exhaustion.

We both were drenched from my sweat. We both enjoyed it. We both were completely exhausted. But we still have one thing left to be done. I ask him if he wants to cum now and he says that he wants me to cum on his face first. Of course. It is my honour to do so. Hence, I prepare myself to shoot out the load onto his face, while some ended up on his hair and the wall. Now is his turn, and he requested to shoot on my face as well. I agreed. While he was building up, I proceed to make out with him with my cum on his face. Not long later, he shot his load as well. It is a happy moment in my life with him. We wiped our face, wrapped ourselves up, picked up my supplies and we left the room. We went straight to the shower room to clean ourselves, get dressed at the locker room and the end.



This is seriously a long ass story. Hope you enjoy it :D

GG...

I'm pretty sure I am almost 90% falling for him, without a doubt... Compared to all the other people I've met, he is the one and only that agreed to meet me without having second thought after our first meeting, which I never experience before... To me, someone that agreed to meet up with me without second thought always give me a good impression...

Right now, I have so many thoughts in my head just about him... I'm trying very hard to shrug it off every night... Right now, what I really want is going to Bangkok with him, provided that he doesn't mind me joining since he prefer to travel alone... I will be very happy and honoured if he allows me >.<

There are so much questions I would like to ask him but I am afraid that I am being too clingy... Plus, I am not sure if he is the type of guy that loves being clingy or what yet but if he loves it, I can foresee we both can be a very good couple for real... Well, what I can do right now is slowly get to know him more and open myself up to him as well so he don't feel so shy with me... I want him to ask me things so badly... I want him to know more about me so badly... I want him to feel less intimidated around me... I want him to feel the sense of comfort and safeness beside me...

Honestly speaking, the memory that I had with him last Friday night, will forever remain as a precious memory to me... There is no way I can forget it... The more I recall back about him last Friday, the more perfect he fits as my ideal partner for life... I really have to list it out the good things about him:

1. He keep his body in good shape. I am completely allured by his body from the front to his back. He has that slender waist which makes me just wanted to hug him from behind and never let go.

2. He take good care of his face. Is rare to meet a guy that make sure they have least acne. I don't mind a little but too much is just something I can't withstand. It tells me that the guy did not put any effort on taking care of skin. So glad he is not one of them.

3. That charming face. Nothing could describe how cute and lovely he looks. For some reason, he does not look extremely good (neither do I) but he exert that miracle charm which I can't get my eyes off him. Until today, I am very regretful for not looking at him longer that night. Fucking stupid of me.

4. His shyness. I notice that he keeps avoiding eye contact with me, even there are times where I stare at him for a few good seconds, he will avoid it. I am OK with it probably because he don't feel very comfortable (hopefully in a good way) but he still looks darn cute when he looks away once he notices me looking at him HAHAHA!!! Cute little fella xD



Ok... Gotta end this post... Next post will be the full story of him and me in the sauna last Friday night... Be prepared for a NSFW post HAHAHAHA!!!

What should I do next???

Saturday, March 30, 2019

Miracle???

Probably I might need to take back what I said yesterday... Let me put it accordingly:



"For some reason, although I am meeting him tonight, I got a feeling it will be some sort of hi-bye type of relationship... Is like, you meet each other for the first time, enjoy the time together and then, that's it..."

It is not a hi-bye relationship... Not at all... We planned to meet again anytime soon... Not sure about him but I really looking forward to seeing him again...


"It won't be a long lasting one which I am looking forward to.."

Things might be different from how it seems... Still not confirmed as of now since we still need more time to find out but if everything turns out great, it will definitely be a long lasting one...


"Perhaps I am not his type or the type that could satisfy him..."

Seems like I am completely his type and most importantly, I am able to give him what he wants (this is really a miracle)... I am not able to feel what he feel but based on his expression, I can see how much he enjoy it... And I can't believe this is the very first time I topped someone till they come handsfree while he rides me (and he look so gorgeous at that moment >.<)


"However, if there is a spark ignited between both of us after tonight, this is definitely a miracle to me..."

And hence, the spark might be ignited and this is another miracle coming for me...



I am still trying to keep everything subtle so that he can slowly accept me more... I do not want to rush because I know I will become pushy at some point... And when the right moment comes, I will ask him to be my partner, seal the deal and make him and me mine and his forever...


Now... Will everything turns out as what I wanted??? I really hope it does this time :P

Friday, March 29, 2019

How Will It Be???

For some reason, although I am meeting him tonight, I got a feeling it will be some sort of hi-bye type of relationship... Is like, you meet each other for the first time, enjoy the time together and then, that's it... It won't be a long lasting one which I am looking forward to... Perhaps I am not his type or the type that could satisfy him... However, if there is a spark ignited between both of us after tonight, this is definitely a miracle to me...

I really do not have high hopes on this because he can definitely find someone better than me... As long as he enjoys it, I would be happy as well :)



When will the time comes???

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Another One...

Previously it was "S" that made me unable to sleep for days... Now that I have know "S" more and able to settle down completely as a friend, here comes another young guy... "J", which I personally approached him from the forum, he gives me a feeling that he is a fragile guy and need someone to be on his side all the time... Of course, it is important to know him first before engaging into anything further and hence, we had some conversation beforehand... From our conversation, these are the things I know about him so far:

1. Decent looking and slowly improving body shape
2. Humble and nice
3. Love to share stories
4. Fetish for nice pecs and arms
5. Horny everyday like me LOLZ

I can't tell much but based on his response, he seems to adore my body so that should be good enough for me to know haha xD

However, I try not to conclude anything or being too pushy on him... I don't want to make any mistakes that could spoil this friendship... It is important to keep a proper distance until the day we meet... I hope it is going to be a good first meeting for us lolz...



Let me be your guide :D

Monday, March 25, 2019

Planning...

First of all, I need to plan when and how my trip to Kuching will be... Initially, I am planning for a 3D2N visit at Kuching and then fly to Sabah from Kuching for an island trip but I am unsure how much that will cost me yet... If just assume that I am travelling around Kuching only, then 5D4N will be more than enough for me... Of course, I will be travelling with him and since he is saving his money, island trip with him might not sound favourable for him... Although I can cover his accommodation, but he still need to have some cash on hand for other expenses... This is what I have to think about thoroughly before proceeding with the plan to Sabah island trip...

May would be the best month to visit... Just a month plus left for all the plannings but it should not be a problem since I have nothing urgent to do from my job right now... Can spend more time on the planning haha :D



ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~

Monday, March 18, 2019

Sunburn...

Yes... I went for a swim in the afternoon on a non-covered swimming pool... What do I expect in this situation??? Lolz...

Right now, my entire back (upper back, around my shoulder) was red since yesterday and I can still feel the tingling burning sensation... No severe discomfort so everything is just fine :D

Frankly speaking, I enjoy morning or evening swim rather than night swim lolz...



No more noon swim unless I'm going for snorkeling trip HAHAHAHA!!!

Friday, March 15, 2019

Unsatisfied...

Gogobebe (고고베베) was not so satisfying... The trailer was damn good and it turns out that was not the chorus but the climax for the song... However I am pretty sure of one thing, the song was not up to my expectation but the instrumental version of this song is definitely lit as fuck... Like seriously, the beat of the music piece is so well arranged that nobody could resist bopping to it... Unfortunately, they do not have an instrumental version for this song :'(

Now, I'm testing out all the other tracks... Hopefully I can find one that I like from their latest EP White Wind...



다들 난리가 나 나 난리가 나~~~

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

MAMAMOO Comeback...

Any new song released by Perfume and Utada or comebacks from BLACKPINK are definitely something I get hyped about... Now, I have to add another group of artist into my list: MAMAMOO...



Even though it is just a trailer, DAMN!!! I am falling in love with it... Wind Flower was the song that gets me into MAMAMOO and I am really glad I did hahahaha!!!



2 more days for the release of Gogobebe full song :P

Monday, March 11, 2019

My Lust...

As I am a constantly horny and high in libido, it does not mean I would like to fulfill my sexual pleasure every minute... I mean, when I see a hot guy that really caught my attention, yes... I will fantasize and that's when I am horny... But still, I am able to control myself perfectly such as when I am in the public, I will keep it cool completely... However, when I am in the mood of cruising, I will not hesitate or keep myself cool at all because I am ready to fulfill my lust... This will only happen when I am in the sauna or steam room with 1 or 2 people (of course, one of the guy is someone I have my eyes on already) and that's how I am assure that I will have fun for the night... People may thought I am a slut for sexual desire or something... Probably I am, BUT ONLY when I am in the mood and in the sauna or steam room... Public is a definitely no-no for me because I don't feel comfortable doing that as well...

So, to clear all the doubts, I will only indulge myself with sexual pleasures with someone once in a while but not every time... I know what are the limits when it comes to having sexual fun...



Isn't it great if I found a partner that is hot as fuck LOLZ!!!

Friday, March 8, 2019

Hmmmm...

This thought suddenly crosses my mind... I mean, S10+ costs 3.7k and it is a mobile phone... But with that 3.7k, I could actually buy myself a Nintendo Switch with few games and I still have balance of 1k plus... Isn't this more worthy since I can play lots of game with my NS??? Or instead of that, I can spend 3.7k for other things such as vacation... Eventually, I did not regret at all... I really enjoy my new phone since this is my second time to indulge myself on such luxurious gadget... And the reason why I did not plan for a vacation now is because this year, I prefer to go holiday with someone rather than myself... I do not mind if I'm going to spend up to 2k as long as I am going with someone... Who will it be, I'm not sure of myself but I believe it will happen at least once... I will not hesitate to spend for a vacation this year because I do not want my 2019 to be as mundane as 2018... Life is meant to enjoy (YOLO)!!!



Always make yourself happy first, then you are only able to pass on the happiness to others :D


Thursday, March 7, 2019

S10+!!!

FINALLY I GOT MY S10+ WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! Really loving it a lot given that it has a bigger screen ratio compared to my S7 Edge and the One UI is seriously fun to use... I love every inch of the phone and so far, I am satisfied with it... Worth the price I am paying for... However, there are still a few setbacks that I notices from this phone:

1. The camera - I thought it was supposed to magnificent but when I took some pics indoor (basically it is a small room), the quality was absolutely unimpressive... Not sure if it was due to bad lighting or what but come on... I have yet to try it outdoors with bright sky but so far, I am disappointed I would say... Have to do more testing with it first...

2. The fingerprint scanner - Everything works perfect except one condition: When your finger is cold and out of blood... The ultrasonic scanner requires your body heat in order for it to detect... Well, it is a good thing given that nobody can steal your fingerprint to use it hence you must be present with your finger to unlock it... Just that sometimes, when you are too cold, blood does not circulate through your fingers and that would be an issue to unlock it...

3. Watching videos - Thought that videos will look better in 720p or 1080p (Youtube or any other things) but it was disappointing as well... Have yet to try 4k videos... Hope it never disappoints me on this...


Another thing that impresses me the most besides the phone, is the Galaxy Buds... Never have I ever used an in-ear earphone that felt ultimately comfortable in my entire life... I really have to give it a 5 out of 5 for the comfortableness... Audio quality wise, I may need to test more... Design looks great and everything else just looks great to me...



Do not know what to type liao... Too good until I am out of things to type...

Monday, March 4, 2019

Phew...

Finally... Last Friday was a hell for me... In fact, last week was a total hell for me... I managed to pull myself through and get the job done... So glad that my brain functioning properly and able to smoothly solve all the issues... Felt like a burden was taken off me... It was fantastic I have to say...

Moving on, this week is an exciting week for me... I'm getting my S10+ this Wednesday and I am still thinking if I should take a whole day off or just half of the day... Dilemma as fuck right now... Since my Galaxy Note Edge which I bought it with my own money, this S10+ will be my 2nd phone to do so... I usually never willing spend a huge amount of money on mobiles unless I really set my eyes on it... I will cherish this very moment...

Regarding my love life, met a Thai-Chinese mix guy... Not sure how things will be going for us so I will just let it go naturally... The gym guy??? We have set a line as friend between both of us, nothing less, nothing more... Another guy I met in Leisure Mall, he seems to get it at this point... I don't hate him or dislike him but he is just not the type I would date... Being friend is fine... Finally, I still feel being closest with the "N" guy... And I still hoping to have a lovely meal with the "FM" girl :P

So far, life is still good and I'm able to pull myself together... It's going to be a good good March for me :D



BRING IT ON!!!

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Emotionless...

Currently I am in the state of emotionless... At first I thought it was work stress but it is not even work stress... Basically, my brain goes into complete shutdown mode, not in the state to think at all... I felt like that brain is slowing down... I guess for the very first time, my brain hits the max usage of RAM or processor, like I really don't even feel like thinking at all... And the worst thing is, it happens when there is a project I need to rush... I just do not know what to do and how to deal with it right now...

There are a few factors that could causes this to me:

1. No vacation for 2018 - Yes... I did not managed to travel anywhere due to financial constraint...
2. Unsatisfactory job rewards - Increment and bonus, not as what I expected...
3. Never ending financial problem - As always...
4. Never enjoy working on this current project - Firstly it started out well but as time goes by, my determination on doing this project diminishes...
5. Most recent event - Collecting my phone next Wednesday, and getting to know that guy... Too much things happening...



While I'm typing this, my brain is still blank...

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

First And Last...

Yesterday night will probably be the first and the last time I can have fun with him... Not because we don't get to meet anymore, but the fact that he is attached does not really give me a choice to have him in my life or something similar... Friends, yes we still can be but I believe it will not turn out to be best friends type of relationship... Probably just hi and bye type... Given that he don't mind about having fun with another guy while he has a boyfriend, this show how desperately he needs sex in his life... I don't feel guilty as I am not attached and at the same time, whatever we did might cause him to break up, which I do not want it to happen either... I just want them to be happy with their life and I sincerely meant it... Or perhaps, I am envious of other people's relationship LOLZ!!!

Anyway, this week is a completely havoc week for me... Hope that I can really survive through this week...



Hopefully...

Monday, February 25, 2019

Complex...

This is getting complex... I'm not sure what am I supposed to do... This guy that I fell in love with, he has a boyfriend of 3 years and suddenly, he is asking me to shower together with him... Isn't this is cheating??? I really think he should not step too deep into this else it will be a big trouble for him... Of course, I agreed to it but I will never shower with him until he is clear what he is doing first... It is not just for his boyfriend but for himself... This is not something I can agree to do UNLESS his boyfriend knows about me, and his boyfriend is OK with it... A 3 years relationship without sex for a year, this is actually very bad given that he has high sex drive...

Nevertheless, I want him to remember he has a boyfriend regardless of what we are going to do... I will feel guilty if they broke up due to me...



Joey... Do what is right!!!

Sunday, February 24, 2019

Hmmmmmm......

I am eager to meet him, sit down just 2 of us and talk the whole day... I just want to know him more, spend more time with him so that he gets comfortable with me being around him... Unfortunately, to me, I felt that I am some sort of alternative or substitute entertainment to him (either a good or bad way)... He tend to reply my message a few days late... He rarely ask me questions... He don't seem to meet me eagerly... I admit I love him when we met for the first time... Eventually, if he continues to be like this, my feeling will slowly vanish as well, which could be good for me...



Nevertheless, yesterday BLACKPINK concert was fantastic!!! I just hope to see them again and again and again xD




I will definitely attend all BLACKPINK's concert in Malaysia :D

Friday, February 22, 2019

Happiest Moment!!!

I never had such happy moments where few good things happen simultaneously to me... Let me summarise it:

1. Finally he message me!!!
2. Pre-ordered my S10+
3. Met a new guy (as a friend but not a partner)
4. Cash out my bring forward annual leave
5. BLACKPINK concert tomorrow

And all these just happened within a few days... I really never felt this joyful in my entire life that I just wanted to stop doing any work right now lolz!!!



Now... I am looping MAMAMOO's Decalcomanie nonstop :P

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Impressive!!!

Samsung S10 won my heart... Completely... It is the type of phone that I'm looking forward to since 3 years ago... And what surprise me more is the price range of S10+ which does not exceed RM4k... Here are the following things that I am impressed with:

1. Ultrasonic fingerprint scanner
2. Dynamic AMOLED
3. Ultra Wide camera
4. Bigger battery capacity
5. Infinity-O

What's more??? The pre-order perks looks promising and worthy to me :D

Now... I'm waiting for the pre-order... Die die also must book 1 unit liao lolz...



I am so excited right now T_T

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Events This Week...

Ok... I am anticipated with this week because of the following:

1. Samsung's event on 21st Feb
2. BLACKPINK concert on 23rd Feb

I don't feel mundane at all this week... On top of the events aforementioned, I am looking forward to meet him... Although not as eager as how I am previously, but I will let fate decides... Among all the events, Samsung's event is the one I am really looking forward to the most because I am ready to buy it... Nothing can stop me now :D



Yet I still have to complete my work from my job T_T

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

New Jam!!!



Ok... Hwasa from MAMAMOO really got me hooked up completely on her solo single... I really love this song a lot... And, their backup dancers are awesome as fark!!! xD



Twit twit twit twit~~~

Monday, February 18, 2019

End Of Lunar New Year...

Tomorrow is the last day of Lunar New Year... It has been always joyous during these period because we will get to visit friends' house and eat sinful food... Gambling, playing games and many more are like additional toppings to the festive seasons... It will never be bored... It will never be silent... It will always be fun all the time... I enjoy it a lot :D


Now moving on to my personal life... As expected, he did not send me a message... Frankly speaking, I still miss him a little as of now... I just feel like I should not give up on this... Is it because I'm getting older to think about having a relationship or what??? Lolz...
Even if I don't get a chance to be in relationship with him, I am very happy to be a close or good friend with him... I am ready to make a move on the person I am interested but situations does not allow it such as:

1. The girl I love - Every time when I try to date her for lunch/dinner, she will be either not in Malaysia, or she just went back to Singapore... I really love to be close to her as much as I could and slowly further our relationship but NO!!! Not even a chance for me to do so... Given how expensive Singapore is to me, I will never think of going Singapore for a day or two just to meet her...

2. The guy I love - He asks for my number and never message me at all but I still in love with him... After the incident, I felt way much better but I really hope that I can further develope our relationship... The only place that I can meet him now is at the gym...

I am still not giving up on the girl actually... I will do anything to get close to her as long as not asking me to go Singapore that's it... And yes... Being bisexual is not fun because we will ended up having more options to choose from...



So, who am I destined to be with???

Friday, February 15, 2019

It Was My Fault...

It was an utterly disappointing day yesterday... Able to meet him but it was a total turnover event... Not sure if I should be sad or happy cause this is how the story goes:

(NOTE: SFW)

Never intended to workout but just for the sake of hoping to meet him, I went to the gym for their sauna and steam. Upon arrival, as usual, looking around in hope of noticing him. Found a locker, settle down and undress myself. Head towards the usual shower row, nobody around and I thought he will not be in today. Since it is Valentines, probably he is with someone. I took a shower and head to the sauna. For almost 15 minutes, I leave the sauna to cool down. As I walking out from the shower area, BAM!!! It's him. Joy surges on me. I approaches him and greeted him. He replied. Asked some lame questions to break the tensions. Then, things goes differently after I ask the most important question.

Usually when he sees me, he will ask for a hug. But not this time. So I asked him the same old question which he promised to. Cheerfully I poked his arm and ask, "I thought you were going to message me yesterday?". The answer he gave totally explains everything. He replied "Oh I was too busy with work and I forgotten about it. I'm really sorry and I will message you tonight". That very moment, I actually get what he meant. I was instantly crushed, but at the same time, the burden in my heart dissipates. That very answer from him tells me that I am just fallen deeply in love by myself and not him. At this point, I know it was not his fault but I do want him to know that what he did previously made me fallen for him. I can't tell him that at all. No I can't. Since he gave me that answer, feeling gets awkward. I mean if I was him, every time we meet and I was asked the same question and I keep giving the same answer just never seems to work out well. Hence, I dismissed myself so that he can continue with what he wanna do. As I walk to my locker, I realise that I haven't get the firm answer. No. I can't give up yet. I embrace myself and look for him once more. I drank some water then I get back to the shower area to find him. When we dismissed, I notice which shower row he went. So I went back to the same row he was at previously and enters the shower cubicle opposite of him. Here goes.

As I was showering, I opened a small gap on my curtain because I want to confirm that he was at the opposite. I'm a creep. I instantly turned into a creepy stalker which I will never do. I was constantly staring out the curtain. And yes, when I enter and turn on the shower, he was peeking out. Not sure he was expecting some other people or me but yea he noticed me and I knew it is him. So I stayed as long as he stays and we peek each other numerous time. He was in fear (so sorry about that lolz). His expression tells me that he just want to completely avoid me at that very moment. But I am being very persistent on getting my answer so I kept waiting and he kept staying in the shower. Since I know how it goes, I left the shower and walk away pretending like I'm giving up. But no. I went out and get myself a drink, then I get back to where he is. He was wrapped in towel and he is being very alert of me, trying to leave the shower quickly but I pops up like a freaking creepy guy. He saw me. I was calling him over to me and he was too afraid at that point by waving no to me. It went for like 10 seconds where I was persistently asking him over and he keep declining. He thought I was up to something but the fact is I want to ask him something. After that, he give up and walk over to me and I immediately says "No worries I just want to ask you something". He felt slightly calmer. Without hesitation, I get to the point straight by asking "May I know what is your purpose of getting my number?". One second of pause. He open his mouth and answer me "Just want to get to know you more". That very moment, I was kinda pissed off and fire back a question in an instant "If you want to know me more, why are you not even messaging me?". Same answer from him. Once is fine. Twice is forgivable. Thrice? No point talking anymore. Not sure if he notice it but I can tell that my face was in total disappointment. Before he tries to walk away, I hurl out a quite true but hurtful sentence to him. "Even you say that you will message me, I believe you will never do so" with a disappointed smile on my face. Assuming he heard what I said, he smile and we both walk off. To me, at that moment, I know is the end. I walked back to my locker, take my new towel, go for a shower and leave the place without even trying to search or look for him anymore. The End.

Thinking back on the incident, I think I am being a little too mean on him just because of my own misunderstanding. But it seems like a right thing for me to do because this will stop him from being appreciative of me which could cause me to misunderstand again. At least now, I can see the fine line between us both. It is OK if he don't even look at me like how he used to be. It is OK if he is not going to message me. Frankly speaking, I knew his intention now but I still like him for who he is. The fact that I may hurt him, I accept it if he no longer like me. It was my fault to begin with. I'll admit.



Dear Joey. You had screw up your love life.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Valentines...

Before I leave my house, I pray one more time in order to hope to meet him again today... Indeed I sound greedy at this point because my previous wish was fulfilled... And now, I'm asking for it again... However, I have no choice because he did not send me a message... Not sure if he really saved my number or what but I can't wait like this... It won't do me good... I want a firm answer tonight... I was going easy on him yesterday because I believe in him... But this time, he broke his promises twice and I don't think he will dare to defend himself in any way... And like I said, yes, I will go wild... I may have those traits and looks of a small, young kid but once you messed me up, you gonna get it... First of all, if I meet him tonight, I will ask for his number, pull him along to my locker and pass him my phone... No running away... Hell yes, I will send a message right away and ask him to confirm the message is received successfully... Secondly, as a punishment, I will pull him to the shower and force him to hug me for at least 1 minute (I do not want to make his friend waiting for him and I am a gentleman) unless he is alone... Thirdly, ask him for dinner... To be precise, valentines dinner... I want to officiate it as our first day of dating if he agrees as a punishment as well... I may be evil, but goodly evil HAHAHAHAHA!!! If he declines, fourth thing to do, ask his real intention... Does he want me to be his FWB, or clearly a friend, or something beyond... If he says he is awkward, shy and still adapting, it is OK I can give him time but one thing is we have to know each other more by communicating more, not just at the gym but through messages and hanging out together more...

I am so gonna bombard him with questions... I do sound like a girl right now but sorry to say, I won't miss this opportunity...



If I see him tonight, he will never get a chance to leave the changing room lolz...

Thank God...

I never pray to God for help unless it is necessary but yesterday, my prayers was heard... It was kind of miracle to be honest and to return my favour, I swear I will not eat beef anymore... Let me go through the story on what happened yesterday...

(WARNING: NSFW)

As usual, arrived to the gym and start changing to my workout attire. I never have high hopes because something tells me that I won't get to see him today since I did not manage to find him on Tuesday as well. I told myself yesterday if I don't get to see him, I will just accept my fate. Hence, I just get back to my usual routine. But the only differences this time is I am paying attention to the guys around the gym more than usual, in hope that I can identify him or he identifies me... For an hour plus, it was disappointing but I accepted it. Things changes from this point.

I went to the changing room, looking around as well. No luck. Head straight towards my locker and undress myself for shower. I told myself again that I should just shower quickly and leave the place since the chances for me to see him is as thin as a beach sand. As I walk towards to one of the cubicle, a guy was infront of me. Well, normal. He enters his cubicle and closes the curtain. As he turns around with the curtain almost fully closed, my eyes met his. I can't recognise him at all since it was just his eyes. I mean well I gave up my hope anyway. I just walk to the cubicle opposite of him. As I was trying to close my curtain, BOOM!!! FUCK YEAH!!! The guy opposite me pulls his curtain completely open, with the sudden moment where memories surges right into me. It was him. As if I regain back how he looks like that day. His eyes, face, nose, mouth and most importantly, his body. I can never forget his firm yet meaty pecs and arms. I can feel my eyes was full with joy. Excitement. "Shane?" I blurted. He said "Hey" and that very moment, I was melted with joy once again. We both walk out of our cubicle and greeted each other. After asking some questions, we proceed to a spot and again, he asked me for a hug. I mean why not? Both of us was on our towel, topless and we hug each other. That hug is definitely something I could never forget, probably because it was him. I wanted to hug him longer but I know he was a little afraid of other people noticing so after a quick hug, I asked him for his number. He was kind of reluctant to give me his number but I emphasis on reminding him to message me. I believe in him. I trusted him. And the next part is the interesting part.

After some talking, we both parted ways. As I enter my cubicle, I noticed that he was following me. I mean that's fine. But he seems a little shy. He peek through my curtain but he did not ask for anything. As he was trying to walk away, I peek out of my curtain and he notices me. A manly guy but shy in any possible ways. I BOUGHT IT!!! I ask him over and he ask me why. Of course, my instinct tells me that I should take a shower with him, hence I invited him to shower together. He declined at first because he was afraid and I know I should not force him at that point so I ask him to shower next to my cubicle. He agreed. As we were showering, the cubicle has a 2 sided glass wall that is slightly transparent. I saw him putting his hand on the glass wall, so did I, as if we are holding each other's hand. After awhile, he was done showering and left his cubicle. I purposely open some gap between the curtain for him to see me when he is done. Yes. I am not ashamed because it is him. He stops, glaring at my naked body and asked me am I top or bottom and I replied I'm vers. As he was glaring at my dick, he offered to touch my dick. I was OK with it for sure and to get him closer, I pull him in a little to my cubicle but he is still afraid of the people around. As he was playing with my dick for awhile, I really wanted to pull him in but to ensure that he don't feel uncomfortable too much, I let him go. While he was enjoy looking at me, he asked me to show him my butt. The fact that I have this firm, perky and bubble butt will attract a lot of tops. As I showed it to him, he smiled and compliments my firm butt. Honestly speaking, I don't really feel anything when anyone compliments my butt probably because I'm not a real bottom as well. At that moment, involuntarily, I asked him "So you're a top right?" and he nodded without hesitating. Eventually, the crowd around the shower area is getting more. Few guys were roaming around and we knew this is the time for us to be apart. He goes back to locker to dress up and so do I. We left the changing room. As I was walking out from the changing room, I saw him for the last time, and I reminded him to message me no matter what. The End.

Now. I'm very pissed (but not mad) with the fact that he did not message me even though he promise me. I mean, if you are interested in me so much and you try to jual mahal by not giving me your number, I can honestly say that the next time you meet me, you may like it or dislike me completely. Don't blame me though. You played with my feelings first but I can tell he won't mind what I'm going to do to him because he really fall for me somehow. I may be soft from the outside but I can be wild sometimes xD



Promise is a promise. Like I will stop eating beef as agreed. You have triggered my wild button so you better be prepared for it!!!