Awaiting...

Today is 28th Dec and few more days left to be 2019... I am quite glad that this year passes by very fast and once it enters 2019, it will be entirely a new era for me... I will make 2019 a year where I will enjoy my life as much as I could, considering that I have been through some rough moment for few years... Things and obstacles may occur in between but I know that if I can handle these, it will not be an issue for me anymore... Though I have to say, my real life begins in June 2019 and hope the first half of 2019 will be kind to me...

Really looking forward to my bonus on end of January T_T

Malaysian Made Short Series...

I had to share this short series directed and written from Malaysians. I rarely share these type of things but this one really got me in the feeling.

But to be honest, if my life is this easy to get a girlfriend, I would not be single for this long lmaoz!!!



This type of happy love story only exist in films lolz...

Ughhh...

Summary of what happened on my early 2nd week of December:

1. Tablet KO (due to motherboard) and not planning to buy a new one yet

2. PC unable to turn on (due to RAM slot on the motherboard failure) and bought a new motherboard for it

3. Long holiday (rest the shit out of me) and all I gained was fat

4. Updated my PS4 after more than half a year of not touching it (just to play Megaman 11) and finished the game in 2 days lolz

Summary of what is going to happen:

1. Trying to buy BLACKPINK ticket

2. Celebrate my mom's birthday

3. Waiting for last week of December and enjoy my 2 weeks of 3 days work per week lolz

Turns out that I am using my other credit card now lmaoz!!!

This post marks my exact 10 years of blogging!!! (Last minute realisation lolz)

Boyzilian Wax...

Out of sheer curiosity, I have decided to try out Boyzilian wax (which is basically pubic hair removal with wax) because why not right??? In your life, you must at least try something new once so you will not have any regrets when you can't do it later... I am quite anticipated with this for God knows reason and I hope it will be a great experience for my first time lolz...

And, I wonder how does it feel or look with completely no hair around my private parts lolz...

HAIR BEGONE!!!

Desperately...

Yes... Desperately... I am desperate to move out and live on my own right now... I felt that the single life of freedom is what I really need... I've been living with my family for too long and relying on them too much... I am independent enough to live alone and get all my own things done... I don't need help from my family anymore and this is where I will draw a line (not saying that I will cut off from the family laaa lolz) so I can further live my life to the fullest...

Well... Just less than a year... I know I can do it!!! GAMBATEHHH!!!



It was supposed to be a dramatic story but I have tweaked it so it sounds happier LOLZ!!!

Black Friday...

In my entire life, never have I buy anything from Black Friday in Malaysia but this year, it was my very first time doing so... It was a good deal that I got which is Megaman 11 for the price of 69 (originally is 129) and that was a freaking 60 bucks off!!! It was such a great deal that I feel I should not miss it since I want this game for quite some time... I have to say that I am absolutely happy with this purchase, my very first Black Friday purchase... I wonder what I'll be getting for next year's Black Friday lolz...

Right now, I have so much thoughts about my life that it eventually causes me to feel demotivated on my job... Definitely not a good sign, but I will pull this through ;)



My motivation comes and go so easily lolz...

29th Birthday...

Well... Yesterday was my 29th birthday... I felt that I have aged way too fast and when I look back, my younger age was indeed more better than what I am now... I mean, I was much richer back in the days and less things to care about... But now, things are so different and it is going to be a long way... It seems like I get to enjoy a short good, young life while now, I am struggling with almost everything in life... Not saying that my life is extremely bad but a lot of things could be better... Nevertheless, I am considered more fortunate than some people so I better appreciate what I have now or the future...

Back to my birthday, I've spent half of the day with my family and cousins which is the very first time in my birthday... Usually, most of my birthdays ended up at home alone and just have the cake after dinner... Probably because yesterday was a public holiday as well, it was a great chance for everyone to hang out... Other than that, nothing spectacular happened and days are back to normal...
Hopefully, my 30th birthday would be celebrated different than how it used to be lolz...



Quarter-life crisis??? Lolz...

OMG!!!

I started to fall in love with BLACKPINK's songs like just two months ago... Frankly speaking, the first time I listen to their latest song 'Ddu-Du-Ddu-Du' does not get me at all... It was just meh on my first listen and it did not impress me at all until I listen to 'Forever Young' which is the other song from the same extended play... This song really gets interesting as I listen and eventually, the best song from this EP has to be 'Really'... As I got hooked up with 'Really' so hard, I eventually listen back to their old songs such as 'Boombayah', 'As If It's Your Last' and 'Playing With Fire'... Not so into 'Boombayah' but the other 2 are just like drugs... And for some reason, I got hooked up completely by 'Ddu-Du-Ddu-Du' now...

Ok... My story aside, the main point I am typing this post is because knowing that I just fall in love with their songs for like 2 months, I saw a news that they are going to held a concert in KL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MALAYSIA OMG!!! To be frank, I am not a hardcore fan but I will not want to miss this opportunity to buy a VIP ticket for their concert lolz... For this case, even I am broke as fuck, I will still attend their concert for God knows why reason AHAHAHA!!!

This would be one of the best news for the month of November 2018...
And more to come... Lol...



2019 will be the best year for me T____T

Well...

It is funny how easily I fall in love with a guy when there's a chance for me to meet him... But at the same time, if he does not show any interest on me, I can easily give up on him as well... I found this guy and since he is a businessman and he is looking for part timer or full timer, it won't hurt for me to give it a try... There are two motives here:

1. To really work part time so I can earn some extras
2. To get really close to him

He is really the perfect guy or man that I would love to have in my life... Frankly speaking, even if I don't get a chance to be with him, but at least being close to him would really mean a lot to me... However, I am very clear that it would be very close to impossible since he travels a lot and a very busy man...

I guess my only hope here is he really has a feeling for me on our first meet up... That should be sufficient for us to start lolz...



If I really get to date him, I think I will never be depressed anymore lolz

Perfume WORLD TOUR 4th...

I was waiting for this announcement and the moment I saw the news that they have announced the locations, I was totally happy... But in a split second as I going through the list, it was so disheartened to found out that not even a single ASEAN country was selected for their tour... I mean come on, Malaysia is difficult... Singapore used to have it twice... Hong Kong always have the huge fandom group there and yet not even selected??? What is going on with their agents/organisers???

As a huge fan of Perfume and realise that I can't even afford to go to their closest tour location (Shanghai or Taipei) totally made my day gloomier than ever...

Guess I will just sit at home and move on with my mundane life...



Perfume WORLD TOUR 4th - Failed to attend...

Disappointments...

I have so fucking many things that I need to do or settle but I never make good use of the time to do so... I am utterly disappointed with myself right now because I felt like I am a complete loser or useless guy... There are just too many things going on that I can barely cope with...

COME ON JOEY!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! WAKE UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT AND STOP BEING A LAZY FATASS!!!

I will make good use of my coming weekend long holiday to settle up all my things once and for all... No more excuses...



Dear brain... Please don't run away from me...

Lolz Me...

It is kinda stupid of me to have the thought of auditioning for Korean entertainment company (YG, SM Town, etc etc) at this age... I guess this idea sparks out due to the fact that I wanted to know and see how much I can progress being a vocalist... Until today, I did not take any initiative to audition for one but whenever I saw those auditioning news, I will somehow feel regret for not joining one lolz...

I enjoy singing a lot and I am constantly training my vocal (not in a professional way though) by experimenting with my voice... I am really unsure how far I can go with my vocal and not that I can compose or write my own lyrics at this point... My dream of being a vocal artist is still far to go AHAHAHAHHA!!!



Why la... Why you like this gehh???

GG-ed!!!

Ok... Never expect myself to be on a tight budget this month out of a sudden... Hopefully I can survive through this month end... Bless myself lolz...

Moving on to my life... Nothing much besides financially struggling... Enjoying my Two Point Hospital a lot and really kept looking forward to play it (wish I can play it in my office lolz)... And within this month, I have congratulated so many people in my life LOLZ... Wonder when people will start congratulating me lolololol!!!



Damn I don't know what else to type... My life is getting mundane!!!

Slow Paced...

Not complaining but felt that my days are passing by slower than it seems... Although now is closer to mid of the month, I really hope next year January comes as soon as possible... There are so many things in my mind that I need to clear off... Depressing??? Not... Exhausting??? Kinda... Enjoying??? Neutral... Overall??? Mehhh...

I do have a few games that I wanted to play right now... I should think about my games more lolz...

Talking about him, things are going dull, not in a bad way just no conversation between us... The thing is, he never intended to start a conversation with me so if I keep on messaging him everyday, it felt like I am being too clingy... Well... At least this is a good thing... I won't keep thinking about him... Less one thing to fill my mind lolz...

To sum up, I just want time to passes by quicker right now >.<



FAST FORWARD~~~

Emotional Ride...

The fact that I actually enjoy messaging with this guy makes me feel what a love is... But at the same time, I can imagine how hurting it is if things never goes right between us... The effort, time and emotion that we placed in would have a big drawback if it stops at some point... Now I can imagine why people that broke up have such a strong emotional ride... I may feel a little how it goes when I think about it and it really sucks... Nevertheless, it is all about what is best for the other people... Sometimes, we have to give up something just to see the other person happier... Love is something that can change drastically and instantly LOLZ

My conversation with him mostly are personal, and sometimes sexually comforting... I would say comforting because it is arousal and at the same time, the compliments we gave each other makes us feel more confident in some ways... And when it comes to this, we both agreed to try and fulfill our desires... Of course, we don't just talk about sexual things... We did discuss about how to make myself look more stylish, and how to make him smell better... It is just purely love, caring about each other well being and do what's best for both so that we can appreciate each other more in some ways...

I have involved myself in such situation where I tend to chat with a person and always hoping that they will reply everyday... Well, some of them did reply but always a single line reply... I mean, I would not blame them because I did the same thing to certain people but that is purely because I am not interested in them... Eventually, as time goes by, I understands how this world works lolz... I will never blame them... However, this guy, he tend to keep a long conversation with me... Although he rarely initiate a conversation, but he will share and discuss a lot when he is free which tells me that he is really interested with me... Being able to chat with him every night has changed my night time lifestyle drastically as well and frankly speaking, I am always looking forward to it...



Right now, I can say that I will cherish this very moment with him... Whatever happens in the future, let it be in the future...

When the time comes, it will come...

The "Not So" Short Story...

This is another short story of mine that I had encountered few days ago...

It begins on the day where I personally messaged him and asked him to add me through WeChat. Firstly, he was curious about the sauna theme which he will be visiting soon. Unfortunately, I was not a fan of that theme and I can't really help him much. Eventually, we still agreed to meet up together on Saturday night since it has been a long time I visited one.

I drove my car to his hotel and reached earlier just to avoid traffic. Waited him for almost 2 hours and sadly, he did not inform me that he changed to another hotel. To be frank, I was very pissed and almost gave up in meeting him because I need to drive all the way to his previously mentioned hotel while he was staying very close to my home. I have to drive all the way back just to pick him up and head to the sauna which is close to his firstly mentioned hotel. I was sad deep inside because he never even bothered to say sorry on the spot (it is his fault to begin with because he never inform me at all until the very last minute). I proposed to a nearer sauna because the traffic will not be favourable to go the sauna he wanted to go. Unfortunately, he still insisted and so we move on with it. I may be a little dissatisfied but I'm not a sour guy. He wasted some of my time but he did make up for it by paying for my sauna which it was nice (and he did apologise at some point about not telling me he had changed his hotel). Therefore, we reached the sauna, entered together, changed together, and continue on with what we are supposed to.

My first impression on him: He is tall as fuck, not muscular but still has the buff look, and has a tattoo.

We went to the shower first. Not together. When I was showering alone, there was another guy showering as well. I just pretended everything is normal and while I was washing myself, the guy smack my butt softly (not sure if I am happy or proud to be gifted with this bubbly butt) and smiled at me. It was fine for me so I just smiled back, shower a little bit more, dry myself up and head to where he is. He was done as well, wrapping himself up and we leave the shower area together.

We straight head towards the dark maze without hesitation. Both of us took off the towel, hang it up and barge in deep inside the maze. The feeling of having body to body was absolutely fantastic and we just try to get to the deepest area. Once we found our spot, we started making out. He is very good with his oral skills. His kiss may not be passionate enough but I can still cope with it. As we started kissing, I knew is a smoker. While kissing, we both played each other nipples with our fingers and I have to say he has a nice body to touch. Of course, it would be even better if he is muscular (lolz). We were enjoying it for around a minute or two and he started to go down on me. He mentioned that he loves to suck and to my surprise, he really did a great job on sucking. He is the very first guy that could actually make me cum from receiving a blowjob. As he started to blow me, I can't resist in moaning and it attracted a few guys over as well. While I was still moaning, the other guys start to play with my body and eventually a guy just start licking my nipples which aroused me even more (and I moaned even louder). The pleasure from both nipple and dick was driving my mind wild, an absolute pleasure. Of course, while I was being served, most of the time my hands were on his body because I really love touching his body a lot. It goes on for a few minutes and I believe he is tired from squatting so he stood up and we just hug and kiss each other, shunning away all the other guys. Because of his body shape, I really really enjoy hugging him so much. After awhile, we move to the bed area and lie down together with a few more guys lying around. It was quite packed but we still managed to fit at one corner. As he lies down on his back, I gotta do something back to him. With my breathing, I exhale gently on his neck and he seems to love it a lot. Slowly, I approach to his nipple and start licking, sucking and swirl his nipple with my tongue all around. He is excited. I told myself that he must not stop moaning hence I move on by licking his other nipple, and start to kiss his whole body. Not long after, this is where things get interesting.

I was on top of him all the time and he really enjoy it. After savouring his body, I decided to do something naughty. I place myself in a position like a frog (on my four while both of my legs like a frog's back leg) on top of him and move both of my hands behind his body. While my entire front body is in contact with his, I started humping (not anal) slowly while moaning right next to his ears softly. And I started to go quicker, moan louder and things just got even better when we heard other people moaning around the bed. It lasted for at least 5 minutes as we both enjoy body to body contact most of the time. It was lovely. I whispered to him that we should go try the steam room now. He agreed and we both stand up, leave the maze and head towards the steam room.

We walk straight into the darkest area within the steam room. Without thinking much, we find a spot, sit down and started off with making out. To my surprise, both of us have a very good chemistry when it comes to this. Eventually, we both know where to place our leg instantly to ensure that we are sitting in the most comfortable yet easy to reach with our hands. After a minute of making out, he wants me to lie on top of him again (he really enjoy that and so do I). Like what we did previously in the dark maze, we enjoy the moment of humping and moaning. The only difference this time is we are both wet. Like completely wet and the humping feels more comfortable and we both moaned even louder than before. It does attracted some other guys but sorry to say, we both dominated the entire steam room with our actions and moans. It felt even more fun and comfortable hugging him while both of us are wet. After 5 minutes, he asked me to lie on my back this time. I have to admit it was my first time doing a 69 inside a steam room (luckily the steam room is not blazing hot and the bench is big enough for us to do so). While he is on his four, we just suck each other's dick without hesitation (he is fucking endowed) and it was so much fun while sucking with my hands on his ass all the time.

Both of us was thirsty and we decided to grab a drink at the cafe and chill for awhile after the steam. We rest for 10 minutes and we went back to the dark maze for another round. The same thing happened again in the dark maze when he goes down on me and my moan starts to attract a crowd. Again, some of the guys started licking my nipples and I moaned even louder. After awhile, he stood up and ask me to lean my back against his body. While my back is in contact with his front body, he start caressing all over my chest and I use one of my hand to handjob him as well. The fun goes on for 2 minutes and this time, I requested him to switch place with me. I want to feel his body to the fullest right now. By using both of my hands, I caress his entire body as wild as I could and giving him some handjobs in between. The combination of caressing and deep, timed breathing is all we need to get each other turned on. I kissed his back and neck in the most sensual way and things get too comfortable to let go. Eventually, we stopped at some point and leave the dark maze as the crowd gets rough on both of us.

As we left the dark maze, we decided to take a shower together. Out of the blue while we were showering, I asked him if he had try shower fun? He replied no and without hesitant, I show him how it was done. With soap on my hand and standing behind him, I slowly rub his entire body, as sensual as it could be. From the front and to the back and even his dick, I ensure that not even a spot was left out. Next thing, I moved to his front, face to face and get even more soap and hug him while rubbing his back. Of course, I soaped by front body a little and start to rub my entire body against him. This type of sensual shower fun will never fail to give me a hard on instantly. He seems to enjoy it as well and get the idea of what shower fun is about. He get some soap on his hand and start rubbing my body as well. For some reason, it turns out explicitly sexual because there were another 3 guys watching us. We did not stop and continue on because this is what shower fun is all about. Things were going great until a guy desperately wanted to suck his dick, which he told me that the guy suck him roughly and he dislike it. Hence, we stopped halfway, shower off the soap, put on a towel and leave the shower area. I was fine with it because my purpose of going sauna this time is solely to accompany him.

If I say I did not enjoy, it is definitely a lie. However, both of us did not choose to cum and that's how the night ends.

I sort of miss the moment where we had our body to body contact while writing this up :)

Peranakan...

Interesting... This is interesting and my life is getting interesting... Lolz... In my entire life, I do not know any Peranakan (Baba Nyonya) people and I never expect myself to meet one and it seems like he will be someone I am interested with... I'm not saying we are in a relationship yet but at least we are going somewhere... Regardless of how this will end up, I got a good feeling about it lolz...



To be continued tomorrow... Need to leave the office right now!!!

Perfume Asia Tour!!!

I am eagerly waiting for their announcement on where and when the tour will be held on... The last time I went to a Perfume concert was 2014 (which is Perfume WORLD TOUR 3rd) at Singapore and I really had a blast... Love them so much and I just can't wait to attend their next tour in Asia... But this time, I really hope that they will come to Malaysia so the fans in Malaysia don't need to pay so much to go Singapore T___T (Malaysia have a very good venue for their performance)

Of course, regardless of what, if they held it in Singapore I will still go hahahahaha!!!



Perfume~~~

No More Holidays...

Last 2 weeks has been a crazy weekend due to long holidays... But starting from today, it will be a normally hectic 5 days a week work hahahaha!!! No more long breaks boo :(

I guess I should take some days off next month for the sake of creating long weekend break since I still have quite a number of AL to utilise... I have no regret taking leave just to play Two Point Hospital LOLZ!!!



Talking about Two Point Hospital, I have to say it has all the Theme Hospital concept with even more things that made the game challenging, fun and at the same time, addictive... The game was easy at the beginning, but as it progresses, it gets even more challenging and harder to achieve 3 stars... The fun part of this game is not just curing the patients but you have to properly manages the rooms' location to have the patients quickly diagnosed without having them to die before they get their treatment...

I'm not gonna move on with it else I am doing a review for this game... Plus, it has so many in-depth management required in this game and it will be a very long list for me to type out... All I gotta say is this game is fucking addictive xD



TPH GOGOGO!!!

State Of Confusion...

I really have so much thing going on my mind if the new company CEO's has an offer for me... I mean, if I am really changing my job right now, there are so many many many many things I have to deal with... It definitely affect both of my current job and my family... Plus, if I am really fortunate enough to be offered, how can I shorten my notice period although shorter notice period would be more beneficial to me in this case... And I have to give up my bonus next year... And I will loses all my incentives during my notice period... And there are so much things going on in my brain now!!!

I really do not know what to expect... Perhaps, I will just continue with what I am doing now...



I don't know what to type liao... My brain is in havoc~~~

Interview...

Interview went well yesterday but I did quite badly when I was asked to describe about my strengths lolz... Not sure why I hesitated a little when talking about my strengths but I felt that I should not boast or exaggerate too much on it since I don't like to give people an expression that I am extremely capable but ended up being a sucker... If I am sucks, just admit that I am and learn slowly from there... Although the only point that I managed to present myself well enough is that I can really pick up new things rather fast...

Surprisingly, the CEO was quite interested with me due to the fact that I worked in Genting before... But frankly speaking, I felt a little pressure if I am joining this new company... Why??? Cause all their staffs there are extremely capable and I am totally out of their league... Not sure how far I can push myself to fit into them...

So much thing in my head now and very likely I will get my news tomorrow... It is going to be a havoc in my brain soon...



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Too Fast!!!

Well... I just applied for a job this morning and I am getting a call from them few minutes ago to confirm for an interview appointment... I mean, are they desperately looking for staff right now due to growing??? If growing then it would be positive impression to me but if it is not, then something is not right... My biggest fear is to work in a bad company but I believe that as long as I do my part better enough and deserve what I should deserved, then nothing can bring me down!!!

Since I agreed for an interview this Wednesday, I guess my life will be changing again within this week or next lolz!!!



At last something interesting that I will anticipate within this 2 weeks lolz...

Tiring...

I am not the type of person that enjoys being in the center of attention. Like completely NOPE! Regardless of me doing good enough or beyond better, I still dislike having too much pressure and attention on whatever I am doing. It drains me out and it can easily causes me to lose my determination to work.



Gotta struggle in every direction for next month as well...

Exhausting...

If...

If I am rich, what would I be doing now??? I have always as asked myself this question... Although not sure when the time will come, I will list out below:

1. Opening my own cafe. Well, first off, even though I am rich (assuming that I have enough for the rest of my life), it would be bored life to go on. Having a small business, gaining experience throughout the journey and improving myself is something that everyone should pursue on even though they are living a luxurious lifestyle. It is never harmful to gain knowledge in any ways as long as it is not an illegal business.

2. Travel every few weeks. This could sound a little bit luxurious but to be frank, since you are spending to travel, why not spend it on something that you really love and reap the full enjoyment out of it? One thing to note here. If I am talking about island or paradise trip, yes I would not mind spending more to stay in a luxurious accommodation as I will be relaxing in and out of the accommodation most of the time. There are nowhere else for me to go within an island. But if I am talking about shopping or adventuring, luxurious accommodation will be out. I will opt for less luxurious such as a smaller accommodation with at least a bathtub, and easy access to the places that I would love to go. Obviously, I am going out more than staying in my accommodation for this situation hence this would be a better option.

3. Games collection. As a avid gamer, it would definitely be awesome if I have a very big cabinet that keeps all my console/PC games. And that would be like from Playstation games, PC games, Nintendo games, or any console that you can name it. When I'm not travelling, games would be the best companion for me.

4. Investing in properties. I guess this is quite common among the rich ones but I will have to say that it is not a bad idea in doing this. First, when I have a few nice property around the world (OK let's just say within my homeland of Malaysia), I can get to travel to those places without worrying about place to stay. I will always have my accommodation checked wherever I go and it will be the most comfort place to stay in because it is my house! I can decorate it however I want and I like without worrying about anything. Second, if I am not going to stay at the house (assuming that I am going other place to stay for that week), I can rent out the other houses (AirBNB or something alike) to generate some additional income as well. Third, house value will most likely appreciate. Only under certain situation it will depreciate but nevertheless, selling lower than the purchased price is a loss to me, but not completely losing everything. If the price goes up and it seems to be a right decision to sell it off, why not?

5. Have my own private club. Ok. This is quite a random thought of mine but it sounds legit anyway. On top of my cafe business, buying a land and build my own private club which consists of a 2 floors gymnasium that able to see 2 Olympic pools through the windows and adding on a kid's pool. I can run the club as an additional business managed by other people and at the same time, I can use the facilities for free whenever I wanted to.



I have to say, all these thoughts and ideas of mine sounds absolutely legit given that I am really rich enough to do this... Regardless of what will happen to me in the future, one thing to remember is always be kind and nice...

Start your life with kindness as the richest people comes from the heart...

Healed...

Yesterday was a very gloomy day for me... But by listening to the snippet of Future Pop album songs by Perfume this morning, I felt that I am completely healed... Oh God... Like seriously, I can see myself jamming to this album for every single song... I really love it a lot so far and I really hope the full song will not be disappointing at all... Can't wait for tomorrow!!!



Mugen Mirai!!!!!

Dead...

First week of August was great... But, starting from this week onward, I am basically losing all my determination to work... Really don't feel like myself right now and I just want to quit my life for awhile... Why does having a life is such a burden??? Wouldn't it be better if we are not alive??? Why a life have to struggle over so many things??? Will I eventually able to feel happy with my life later???

My mind is completely dead inside... I do not want to think of anything right now...

Not A Happy Month...

July 2018... It is not a happy end month for me... Felt a little stress and pressured in so many things...

Let me start with what happened last week... On Sunday, my car battery died after paying parking ticket at supermarket... Not sure how to express it but definitely I gave a lot of people trouble... Then yesterday, I forgot to take my road tax and drove my car all the way to the office with the expired road tax and have to take public transportation back home to get it... It is my fault for being forgetful though...

And because of the 2 incidents above, I have to use so much more money and I have to recalculate my financial for next month, which is already not pleasant... How am I going to move on like this???



Ughhhh... Help me...

Commitments...

Commitments are not a joke... Once you have a house and a car, prepare some money for it every month until you die... I can feel the burden on my financial from these commitments right now... And I don't just mean the loans that I have to pay but the extra services that are applicable to it...

For instance, your car needs maintenance every half a year and it costs me a sum... Then buying insurance (a huge cost is applied) for your car is a must due to renewing of road tax (a small cost is applied)... Renewing driving license is another thing although it only costs a small amount for a few years... All these comes with a cost that contributes to your commitments...

As for house, your loan is way much longer and higher in cost compared to a car... Insurance are not compulsory but there are some fee or tax that needs to be paid for a house (not sure what are the names called lol)... Lastly, you have to pay management fee monthly (for non-landed properties)... This is killing everyone...

I am not young and yet I still feel that I am struggling financially which is not a good sign... This year is going to be a bad financial year for me... Really bad...



Really really bad...

Selfish Me...

I remember stating this before in my blog that I have one and only one, extremely selfish request from the God, which is to work at some better country/place and it will not be in Malaysia or Singapore... First, why it is a selfish request is because my hope was not meant for the health of my parents but it was for my own happiness... I could not deny this as I admit I am no longer a filial piety son (since I have disappointed my parents or even my family with the fact that I am a sinner) and I could not give any happiness to my parents... However, in order to make other people happy, I have to ensure that I am happy myself FIRST and this is the reason why I have such a selfish request...

I have more to write but I am so fucking busy right now... Guess I will just leave it for the next post...



Gotta settle up my shit first sigh...

State of Confusion...

When I received the first email from LookSee, they mentioned that if I am the right candidate, they will present my profile to the employer... Else, they will add me as part of the group so other employers are able to view my profile...
The question right now is, I am part of the group and does that mean I am not the right candidate??? My profile is not being presented to the employer directly??? I am really confused right now...

I was really hoping that at least my profile will be presented to the employer immediately which they would at least acknowledge me a little... However, now all I felt is, sadness with very little of hope that I will be acknowledge... This is a bad feeling I have right now and I guess what I can do is just wait... Hoping for the best of luck for myself...



Kinda depressed right now but life still have to go on lolz...

Future Pop!!!

Another track was revealed from Perfume's upcoming album, Future Pop which is called 'Let Me Know'... Their very first single for this album which is 'Tokyo Girl' is my all time favourite... Next, 'If You Wanna' was meh but luckily, 'Mugen Mirai' really brought up the hype back... And now, the next single which came out fresh from the album, 'Let Me Know' definitely defines the future pop atmosphere into this album... Many people might not like this album due to a sudden changes in their songs but I have to honestly say, I really love it so far... I really can't wait for the album to release now :D

Wellington??? I submitted my questionnaire and even uploaded a video profile... Took me few hours just to record a perfect video profile (it is so fucking difficult to do so)... In the end, I managed to get it done and hopefully this time, I can get a free trip for an interview hahahahaha xD



It will be even better if they skip the interview and recruit me immediately lolz...

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

Okokok I know I am not supposed to be this happy YET... One of the program held by New Zealand government, LookSee Wellington which I joined last year had notified me that they are looking for PHP developers few days ago... I've submitted my interest and this morning, my resume and profile has been reviewed by them and I am so happy that I was successfully accepted to Stage 2... Previously, I failed the program at Stage 1 review but knowing that I passed Stage 2 now, I am absolutely thankful... Now I need to record myself a profile video, upload it and submit my questionnaire for Stage 3 review... I really can't wait for this and I am so excited right now...

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!



OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

Utada Hikaru!!!

Attended an event that solely plays Utada Hikaru songs... And you know what??? IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME~~~

I have to express my gratitude to the girl who arrange all the songs and the 2 vocalists that did a magnificent job... I never believe that night was the night where I can enjoy Utada Hikaru's beautiful songs with a huge amount of crowd (or fans I would say haha)... It was totally amazing and it was an unforgettable night for me...

So for the month of June, I have waited for Utada's Hatsukoi album to be released and for this month of July, I have attended the Utada Hikaru Tribute event... The next thing that I am looking forward in the month of August is Future Pop!!! Such a busy year lolz...



Everything is gonna be alright :D

2nd Week of July...

Met the Korean guy last Saturday... It was a fun meetup although it is short... Looking forward to our next meetup which I don't know when it will be...

This is the 2nd week of July... I really hope days passes by as quick as possible... Just bring me to the end of this month... If you ask me why, I do not know how to answer it... I just want time to pass by as fast as it can... Please fast forward my life lol...

To be honest, at this point, all I ever wanted is a short trip or vacation to an island... Does not have to be luxurious... Just wanted to go for a swim in the sea... And what's stopping me??? Being a poor asshole and one after another job stacking up endlessly... I really do not know how long I can hold on like this for now... Joey, please stay strong...



You can do it... Just stay strong a little longer...

Lol...

Ok I find this funny and I have to post it out... Since I am bi, I would not hesitate to swipe right on any guys that I found hot in Tinder... But what I am surprised with more is the chances for me to meet up with a guy (as in meeting up face to face) is waaaaaaaay much more easier than meeting up a guy via gay apps... I mean like seriously??? LOL...

Ok moving on... Life is still balanced but I think I will go insane very soon, like within a week or two... Just completed one new project and 2 new projects coming in, where one of it I am fully in charge and another one I have to be part of it as well... I don't mind with all the new projects coming in but hey, can't I get some rest out of it at least??? Like I was supposed to be free this week and suddenly I have to do something back from older projects and have to get it done by end of the week (some is simple but some are not)...

To sum up, I can't wait to meet him tomorrow... And he is a Korean hahahahaha!!!

宇多田ヒカル - 初恋 Album Review!!!

Ok... Before I am going to mention anything, let me go through each and every song (following the tracks order)...



1. Play A Love Song
When this song was released as a digital single, I immediately fall in love because it is quite a fresh song compared to other digital single she had released before this (Forevermore, Anata and Oozora de Dakishimete). It has an upbeat and cheerful tone that feels pleasant and Utada played her vocal very well. During the end, the choir that sings along with Utada gives this song a plus point because it was something that Utada never did before in any of her song (if I recall correctly lol).

Score: 3/3



2. Anata
A well paced emotional song released as a digital single as well. It was great for casual listening but I am not completely addicted to it for some reason. But I do have to give some credit towards the end due to the sudden shifting of the song emotion.

Score: 2/3



3. Hatsukoi
One of the top 3 songs for me in this album (#3). No doubt, it is emotional, great vocal control from Utada, simple yet beautiful music piece that complements Utada's voice perfectly. Initially, the beginning of the song which is the chorus does not leave any impact on me. But as it moves on, FUCK YES. That's it. The slow emotion building up and once it hits the chorus, I felt the emotional link immediately. Then the moment it enters to the climax, which is the best part, BOOM!!!
Listen to it and you will understand.

Score: 3/3



4. Chikai
Ok the song that everybody is waiting for. The theme song for Kingdom Hearts 3. Hikari and Passion was a masterpiece and I have to say I do have high expectation from this song. During the first revelation of the song from the game trailer, it was all good and nice. It started quite well with Utada-ish style, a distinct yet pleasant approach. But the moment when she start to hit the climax part, it just... Well... It is totally out of tune... It does not complement well with the music piece when she starts to rap (or sing very fast I assume). I felt that she did poorly at the climax part. But after the climax, everything went back to good when she sings "Kiss me once, Kiss me twice, Kiss me three times". I just have to say, the rapping is very unnecessary and it jeopardise the good music piece at that very point.

Score: 2/3



5. Forevermore
Needless to say, my #1 song from this album. It was released as a digital single. The well paced music piece and Utada's voice complements each other perfectly. With the lovely beat, but not too heavy and a mixture of violin or cello gives this song a strong feeling to it. As it moves on to the climax and after, BOOM!!! Trust me, the best part to sing along starts from the climax. One thing that I have to say is Utada controls her vocal very well in this song, but this is the 2nd best vocal controlled song from this album. The 1st? Let's move on.

Score: 3/3



6. Too Proud feat. Jevon
Ok let me be frank. One, who is Jevon? Two, this is a Japanese album. Three, this song is 50% English, 50% Japanese. Four, this song is heavily influenced with Western song's culture. Five, this song is definitely not my type. Not hating it, but just purely not my type.

Score: 0/3



7. Good Night
Well... This is my #2 song from this album. The song that I've been screaming about. The trailer from Penguin Highway with this song snippet was mind blowing. Fell in love with it immediately the moment I listen to it for the first time. The reason is Utada control her vocal so fucking well (1st best vocal control song from this album babe), which made the song sounds brilliant with the music piece. Although I have very high expectation from this song and it turned out a little disappointing because of merely one thing, the lyric "Goodbye" is too repetitive in the entire song. Nevertheless, it was a good song and I am fucking happy with it. Love singing along to this song and love the music piece after climax part. Really hope that Utada will release an instrumental version of this song.

Score: 3/3



8. Pakuchii no Uta
Wottt??? Coriander song??? I didn't know Utada loves coriander that much lol... This song somehow resembles Boku wa Kuma. Felt like a song meant for children. Nothing wrong with it just that I don't feel anything addictive in it.

Score: 1/3



9. Nokoriga
Serene and peaceful like a wedding song. Good for casual listening but not sing along.

Score: 1.5/3



10. Oozora de Dakishimete
The very first digital single released from this album. After Fantome album, this song is definitely something more upbeat and fresh. Slightly different from what you would listen but not in a bad way. Still loving this song.

Score: 2/3



11. Yuunagi
A slow paced song. Extremely great for casual listening and an extremely relaxing song. Might learn to sing along for this song.

Score: 2/3



12. Shittosarerubeki Jinsei
The beat of this song is quite my type and I sort of like it at the beginning. But as it goes on, felt like the beat goes out of beat a little at certain parts which was quite a let down (Perhaps I have OCD lol). But overall, this song ain't that bad. Great for casual listening but not singing along.

Score: 1.5/3



Verdict:
For my Fantome review, I gave it a 9 out of 10 because it was really a good album. However, for this, I have to say that it was quite a let down when compared to Fantome. All the singles was great and only few of the album songs was captivating enough for me. Was it because I have too high expectation from Utada?

Overall Score: 6/10

Damn It...

It has been 5 years... And Facebook keep reminding me of my time in Bimini now lolz... I really miss that place so so so so so so much that I just wanna go there again right now... The pleasant and beautiful memories I had there still lingers in my mind... I guess I will never forget the good times I had when I was there... From the houses that I have stayed, driving the buggy around the island, eating free foods most of the time, enjoying the breathtaking scenery while working, getting along with the staffs at the casino, giving some assistance to the customer in the casino, and doing everything I can to ensure the casino is perfect... I mean I don't own the casino but I am absolutely satisfied with what I have done there...

Well... All good things will come to an end I guess... Now I have to struggle with almost everything, especially financial... When will this burden perish???



When will I be able to enjoy my wonderful life again???

Tough Life...

Yup... I'm having financial issue again now... Now my account balance is below RM50, not a good sight... I have to do this in order for my company insurance's credit pass through or else, it will be a trouble... Better safe than sorry I would say... So how do I put this??? Struggling??? Unhappy??? Depress??? Maybe not... It is tough but I don't feel that bad for now... Although there are more financial burden coming for me in the next few months, I guess I am still able to cope with it (for now)...

Financial aside, I have been given a new job task the moment my current job is completing very soon... I mean, I did so much for the company, does my boss even consider promoting me??? LOLZ!!! I do admit I am not a good employee, but I felt that I still need to be further rewarded, at least a little bit more than normal to keep me motivated... Taking more projects will have a bigger pool and work harder to get more from the pool, but I still find it to be lack of something... Just lack of something... So conclusion??? I am looking forward to my promotion to be frank lol...

Now about my life... I started to pick up back my gaming life... I have stopped indulging myself in games for like a year but Nintendo Switch really sucks me back in... I always love gaming and now the fact that I have played some really good games (Resident Evil Revelation 2 and Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild), I am more keen on playing some PS4 games now (Megaman 11 on October lol)... I am determined to update my PS4 this week and HOPEFULLY the machine still works properly... I love you as much as I love anything else so please don't give up on me...

Besides gaming, I am waiting for my beloved Utada Hikaru's album... Followed by that is Perfume's album which I have high expectation as well... And about my love life??? I'm still searching for my other half hahahaha!!!

What I really need right now is a good, relaxing, island holiday... I never been to anywhere this year :'(



When will I have the money to travel this year???

Update #3824627...

Ok... I really wanted to vent this out... I felt that whatever I am doing for the family now is very likely not something they will see and appreciate it... I felt like I am the black sheep of the family... Yes... I do admit I am not a filial peity son in some ways but my financial burdens me more than it seems... This unfavourable thoughts are starting to consume me...

I can still pretend or act that I am happy with my life as of now... However, I do not know how long I can keep on like this... The only thing that I know is, once I left this household, I will be able to live a completely different life which I have been longing to do so... For better or worst, what I need right now is a change for a better me, and probably a better family...



I am absolutely tired of these things...

My First Week of June 2018...

Ok... Everything was great on my first week of June except one thing, my health... Not sure what had happened to me recently but I will list out what is going on with me as of today:

1. My left arm hurts (around my joint between my shoulder and arm)... That sensation of mild to intense pain occurs once in a while, or when I position my arm in a very wrong place... I believe this is due to my sleeping position but this pain still persists... Yesterday it was bad till I have to pop in a panadol into my mouth...
2. A small lump on the back of my neck... This is my very first time having lumps around my neck... Gave me a shock and hopefully it is not something serious...
3. Two ulcers (feels like 3) in my mouth at the same time... I rarely have ulcer... But when I have it, it creates havoc in my mouth...

Felt like my health is deteriorating this month... Gotta take good care of myself T_T



200 liters of water per day good enough??? LOLZ!!!

Nintendo Switch...

I did not buy one (yet) but it is damn fun to play with... Considering the fact that it can be both handheld or TV console game, I really enjoy it... On behalf of my friend, I am currently holding it until he comes back and then only I will pass it over to him... Felt like I am the one that bought it instead lolz...

Playing Resident Evil Revelation 2... I played RER1 before but RER2 gameplay is much more interesting such as Moira can use her flashlight to blind its enemy and hit it while Natalia has a super sensory ability to locate the zombies, allowing Barry to instant kill it from behind... The stealth gameplay in RER2 has improved a lot I have to say...

I told myself in the end... When my home is ready and renovated, I will definitely buy a Nintendo Switch for myself... By then there should be a lot of games as well meanwhile, I will wait for October for Megaman 11... My PS4 will be back!!!



Hatsukoi is a damn gooding song :D

25th May 2018...

Another date that I have to note down... Something that happened for the very first time in my entire life... I have to be frank, I was shocked with this event as well... The worst part is, a friend of mine was with me and he witness this event... I am pretty sure I did not leave a good impression at all LOLZ... Ok so this is what happened... Shortly to put it, I fought someone...

It happens that I was turning into a junction and I seriously did not notice any motorbike was speeding towards it... I admit it was my fault that I still keep on moving even though my friend warned me but thank God the guy did not crash to my car... However, the next thing is, the guy was on his bike chasing after my car, cursing and kicking... I heed the advice of my friend to ignore him and so I did but he keep insist in chasing after me... I have no choice but to stop and settle it because he might end up following me for the rest of my life... I stopped my car around a housing area on the side, get down from the car and ask my friend to lock the door first just in case... Hence, this is where it began...

He kept cursing at me and saying that I am drunk and thought I am a gangster (lol do I look like one???)... From how he speak, I knew he is trying to pick a fight and he started taking off all his jackets and things... Do note that he is completely drunk because I can smell heavy alcohol all over him while he is shouting at me... To keep it short: this is what happened:

1. He hit me on my right face for the first time
2. He hit me on my left face for the second time
3. He hit me again on my left face for the third time
4. I've lost my temper and throw him one good fucking punch on his left face. He tumbles down and stand up
5. I can't recall if he hit me on the face anymore but I knew I have to stop because if I hit him again, I might be in trouble so I get back inside to my car and move on. He did kick me when I am getting back inside my car. Before I speed off, he punched my window. He did not chase after me then.

After the incident, I stop my car at another housing area just to check my car condition and myself... No scratches (hopefully) but just foot prints on my car... Then I check my face and noticed some blood stains but it was not mine lol... I am completely fine in terms of not bleeding or anything... Lastly, noticed some blood stains on my window which I believe is his as well...

Conclusion, I do admit it was my fault for causing all these ruckus but to my defence at the same time, I hit him once as a self defence reflex after he hit me for 3 times and more PLUS he is drunk driving a bike and not a car which is way much more dangerous... I am guilty of everything except that punch LOLOLOLOLZ!!!



Hopefully that this issue will not cause any problems to my friends and families...

Delightful...

Met a guy through forum and practiced my massage skills on him... He seems to love it a lot and has a good affection towards me (so am I lolz)... Wonder if that time will comes...


Moving on, next Tuesday is a public holiday and I will be on a 4 days streak long holiday again EHEHEHEHEEHE~~~ Other than that, I am eagerly waiting for Utada's album on June and Perfume's album on August... What a year...



OK I think this is the shortest post I have ever typed lol...

Confession...

I am absolutely absorbed into the song Good Night, even though it is just lesser than a minute in length... I have been repeating it since last Thursday whenever I'm in the office and I am currently desperate for the full version, LIKE SERIOUSLY DESPERATE!!! This song is a total masterpiece I tell you... As everyday passes by, I felt like I am being tortured... Please just release the album T_T

Just imagine... A song teaser with not even a minute in length already captivated me completely... Once the album is released, I will go wild the moment I listen to the full version... Trust me, I will fucking scream!!!



I WILL DEFINITELY SCREAM!!!

Utada Hikaru 初恋 Album!!!

One of the song from Utada's Hatsukoi album, Good Night:



The moment I heard it, I was screaming deep inside my heart... It is so well composed and beautifully sang by Utada... Tell me... How to hate Utada??? She is such a brilliant singer and songwriter... This album is going to be very promising like Fantome... I really love Fantome which was her first album after a long hiatus... She never fail to impress me and never disappoint me...

Frankly speaking, I have been looping the song even though the song revealed is not even a minute long and I am already falling in love crazily with it... FML...



WHY THE ALBUM WILL ONLY BE RELEASED ON 27TH JUNE!!!

10th May 2018...

10th May 2018 is the day where Malaysia will be receiving the biggest change in the entire history... I mean come on... The party that has been ruling Malaysia for 61 years gotta stop for now lolz... With the new Prime Minister being elected to rule the country (which is the same person that ruled Malaysia before once), things will be both bad and good in some perspective... There will be some rough time at the beginning for both the Prime Minister and citizens but I believe we can go through this... Hence, this marks the new beginning of Malaysia era...



I got nothing to do for these 2 days of holiday -.-

Wow...

I have to type this out (but not on Facebook because I'm not trying to get too much attentions)... This morning when I was driving my way to my office, I witnessed an accident right in front of my eyes, like around 200 meters away only... I mean, I never encounter such things before hence I was a little shocked at first...  Basically what happened is a motorbike was going at quite a speed and without realising the car in front stopped suddenly, the motorbike driver did an emergency brake and ended up hitting the car (no loud banging sound was heard though) but both the driver and passenger flung forward off the bike... YES... FLUNG OFF!!! LIKE REALLY GOT THROWN TO THE BACK OF THE CAR!!! I was seriously surprised that the car in front did not stop his car and take a look... I mean, even though not for the sake of the car, at least give some concern on the motorbike driver and passenger... Unfortunately, the car driver just drove away as if nothing happened WTF???

Of course, I have to stop my car with my double signal on so I can give some time for the driver to move his bike away to the side as I was more concerned on their conditions... I get down from my car and ask if they are OK and I am trying to offer some help to them but the driver declined and say it was OK... I can see the passenger was not in a so good condition but maybe not too serious... I mean, indeed it is the motorbike driver's fault but I felt that the car driver should have at least shown some concerns or even offer some help at such situation...

At that point after I get back to my car and moving on, I do have a feeling that all the cars behind or passes by me thinks that I hit the motorbike lolz... But whatever it is, I am definitely hoping that both the bike driver and passenger is all OK, that is the most important thing...



To the car driver, please know what is happening around you next time -.-

When May Comes...

Started off with Labour Day and it was a long weekend last week because I took a day off on Monday as well... This gives me a 4 days streak holiday... Of course, I really enjoy long off day because I can do whatever I want lolz... But now, I am sitting in my office, typing this out while solving some issues... Not a bad week for me so far (except financially lolz) and glad that I am able to work my problems out smoothly...

The other main purpose of this post is first:



Ok... During their debut, none of their songs actually attracts me but this very first single, SnapShot really got me awed... I mean, the music piece was great, all their voices well complement the music and the music video is really good... No doubt I love this song because it has the very old style K-Pop vibe... In fact, IN2IT is the very first male group K-Pop band that I really listen to since the day they release their single (BTS exists quite some time before I knew them so it is different :P)... I really have to say they did impressed me in some ways...

Now moving on to the second purpose:

Utada Hikaru - Play A Love Song

Since Fantome album was released, which is definitely another masterpiece album from Utada, her following singles are no where disappointing at all to be honest... There are still few songs which I won't repeatedly listen to but Forevermore is definitely the best so far, followed by Play A Love Song... I mean, there is no way you can hate her songs because all of her music are brilliantly composed... I really can't wait for June 27th because this is the date where she releases her album... Owh mai gawd!!!



Ok that's it... Still awaiting for my Samsung contest... Hopefully someone is going through the submissions... Lolz...

Chikak Chikak snapshot~ Chikak Chikak snapshot~ BOOM!

Update #3247284729

Quick update... Was very busy during the weekend... Cleaned my entire room just to hunt down those damn bedbugs on Saturday and visiting my cousin brother's house on Sunday... I would say it was a well spent weekend with my family although deep inside my heart, I want to go to the sauna... And it is going to be end month soon, which means May is coming... I really wanted to figure out what entertaining things that would surprise me next... Meanwhile, got to make sure my work is all good...



It is going to be a busy end month...

Update...

I am going through so much things right now... I mean, I will just list it out in point form for easier reading in future:

- Financial is good this month, but might be bad next month
- Still eagerly waiting for my house to complete
- My body fat measurement is killing me. How is it possible to drop or increase by 1.5% within 2 days?!?!?
- Progress in my muscle building is quite satisfactory. Do notice some increase on size compared to last few months
- Will eat lesser oily food from now on
- Bit myself of the lips due to chewing on gums too hard. Trying to prevent ulcer from developing!!!
- Bottomed a guy last Sunday. NEVER EVER DO THAT IF HE HAS A BIG ONE!!! LEARN YOUR FUCKING LESSON JOEY!!!
- Satisfaction from killing bed bugs with my fingers. Squeeze it and pop it!
- Waiting for Samsung Member Apps contest results now. No luck in Maybank Samsung Pay contest at all :(

There are more but can't recall what it is lolz... Well just let it be xD



Moving on with my poor life~~~

Moody Monday...

Monday blue... It is always real... Monday is definitely not the best day for me to work... I will be in my most least productive state on Monday and I will slack more than usual... I don't regret this though... I know myself clear enough on how to handle things accordingly... So what am I gonna do for the whole day??? Tumblr and forum lolz...

I will always be me and myself :D

Tumblr

OK from today onward, I will less likely to post anything related with my gay lifestyle in this blog because I have a tumblr account for it now... This blog serves mostly of my rants, sorrow, happy and exciting things :D

Back to my life... Everything is great so far... Work pace is great and still waiting for the results of the contests that I have joined... And the most surprising thing about yesterday is, I never know I can last so long being a top although I don't think I can satisfy a bottom xD



Now gonna move on to my tumblr lol

Experience Of Lifetime...

Yesterday night was the night where I set myself completely wild... I have made myself to experience what an orgy or group sex could probably be and yes, it made me wild by hearing people moaning all around and seeing guys making out together is just too calming for me... I mean, not necessary to have sex involved but just being present around people making out made me feel the pleasure in certain extent... It sounds very funny but that is exactly how I felt lolz... The best part is definitely when someone clings to you, holding on to you and start caressing your body from top to bottom... I mean this is what sex about isn't it??? Lolz...

Yesterday was undeniably enjoyable... Felt like my brain has been refreshed into a new level... But one thing for sure is I am being a complete asshole yesterday... One of it is that I never give anyone bj at all as I just keep receiving bj from everyone... Second, my biggest guilt, having bareback sex... I know that I MUST NOT HAVE BAREBACK SEX because it is very unfair for the bottom if I am infected with HIV (no worries I am free from diseases)... But at that point, he went straight to lube his own hole and sit on top of my dick... I was extremely aroused at that point and the moment I felt my dick inside his hole, the pleasure skyrocket to a point of no return... It's like not even 10 seconds and I shot inside him... I really should have stopped him for a moment, or probably change position or something but I failed to do so... In fact, if I stopped myself, get a condom and continue again, I could last longer and be more enjoyable for him... Sigh... I am pretty sure this guilt will haunt me for the rest of my life as I do not know who is the bottom... Hopefully, I can meet him again and give him a more enjoyable time instead...

This is my quick timeline of the fun I had yesterday in a complete dark room:

1. Walking around being touched by others
2. A guy stopped me and we proceed with making out, then he served me from top to bottom (kissing, nipple down to bj). After like 10 mins, he stopped as he was too tired and I gave him a kiss before he leave
3. At that same time on #2, another guy indulge himself behind me. He kept playing with my body and slowly he uses saliva to open up my hole. I was fine with that until the moment I felt something going inside my hole and that was his dick without a condom. I deny his entry completely for like 2 times. After the first guy left, this guy pull me to other place and I let him hump between my thighs. He ended up ejaculating in between my thighs and before I leave, I gave him a kiss lolz
4. Went to clean myself up
5. Get back inside, linger around 5 minutes and found a big guy wanted some fun with me. I proceed and yes, he served me from top to bottom and lastly, I satisfy him by giving him hj. He ejaculated on my leg in the end and thanks me for that. Such a nice guy xD
6. Went to clean myself up and went for a quick 5 minutes jacuzzi rest
7. Get back inside, linger around 5 minutes and noticed a guy was enjoying a bj given by others. Since that guy was enjoying, I gave him some nipple play and he moaned even louder, to an extent of shooting. I hope he enjoyed that :D
8. Walked around and cling to a guy, served me from top to bottom without hesitation and he pull me to another place. Yes. This guy is my biggest guilt. At the same time, another guy was caressing my body but he never plan to do anything besides licking and giving me hj.



Honestly, this is my wildest moment in my gay sex life... And, sadly to say, I really enjoy it and I would love to go every weekend... Guess one of the 7 sins got me right on the spot lolz... Please forgive me :'(

Regardless of what, I will ensure that I am protected and disease free every time!!!

For Once...

Never felt so tired in my entire life today... I am just going to be honest... Let me do something I should not be doing for once so that I could forget every unhappy events... Please just let my mind set free for once...



No pain no gain I guess???

Moody Thursday...

Completely engulf with moodiness since waking up in the morning... Hope it does not turn out to be a depression... I am desperate to have a short break away from this place... Feels that I don't belong here at the moment... What I really really really want right now is lying on a lounger by the beach... I miss the serene sound of the waves and the lovely smell of sea breeze... I don't know how long I can wait... I am getting tired...

I am waiting for some great life event to happen right now... Such as some positive news from the contests that I have joined... Other than this, there are nothing for me to anticipate until end of next month (yes as in April 30th)...

To be very frank, there are A LOT OF THINGS that I can do to uplift myself or relieve all the tiredness away without going to a beach... One of it is by pampering myself with a good message but this is an issue cause it cost money... As usual, my financial was never been good and I only can limit myself to maximum of 2 massages per month, which is kinda sad... Another one is by eating good food and yes, it costs me a lot of money as well... Alas, this is not something I can indulge myself every time...

I am so not in the mood to do any work right now... I have no motivation to work right now... I have lost my soul and my body is out of my control right now...

I just want to have an absolute alone time without anyone around me right now...

Blooming~~~

I never expect our friendship blooms this rapidly... The fun I had by chatting with him really means a lot to me... I just can't wait to see him for real... And something tells me that something better would happen when we meet... And the good news is, he might be coming over to KL to work :D

Moving on to my personal things:
1. I guess the Samsung contest winner will only be revealed by end of next month... So much anticipation of waiting for it ahahaha xD
2. As for Maybank Samsung Pay contest, lagi panjang leher... But the result for this contest should be announced by end of next month...
3. Going to meet my very first swimming buddy tonight but he is not responding about his confirmation... To be frank, I still dislike KJ pool xD
4. Body fat from 16.8% (after sick for 2 days) increased to 17.8%. Before I got sick, I was at 18% body fat... Uggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
5. Planning for no to low fat, low calories and high protein diet on my swimming days...

Wait... Does point #5 even need to be typed out???



When I want the time to passes by faster, it gets even slower...

Torturing...

The fact that I will get lonelier when the person I would really love to chat with does not reply me within an hour or two does seems like a real issue to me... I mean, he might be busy with something or he have a life but still, it makes me wonder why he rarely reply my messages... The only worst thing I could think of is I am starting to annoy the shit out of him... It's just doesn't seems right... Is it because he rarely have internet access??? Or was it because he can only use his phone during certain period of time??? This thing is seriously troubling me...

I guess I should just ask him directly lol...

From Unknown To Someone Special...

Never had this feeling before where someone who would be interested to keep chatting/messaging me... Usually I will always be the one doing that and the other person will just respond to the things I asked... This time, he is the different and in fact he could be the special one... He will eventually ask me back some questions as if trying to keep a communication between us rather than just a 1 way communication... Although we never meet before, I can feel the chemistry in it... And the best part is, we are planning for our first trip TOGETHER!!! I guess this will be the best thing could have ever happen in my life... The only thing that I hope will never happen is either him or me suddenly have to cancel the trip due to unexpected events...



Anticipation kills!!!

Pure Disappointment...

Twice... I have chat with two persons from BW and agreed to meet up few days later but twice, we ended up not meeting... Why??? It is not simple to shake off an anticipation that has built up... Was it really that difficult for me just to satisfy my lust once??? Why???

I'm sorry to say that I will do anything just to meet this guy for a great fun... There is no way I am letting it go now...

I am unstoppable...

Weird Thoughts...

I do have the tendency to always keep myself entertained by thinking something interesting to happen whenever I am free... I'm not sure if I am making use of the time but well, that's my personality I guess... When I am not playing my game, I will have my thoughts wonder around wildly... What can I do next??? Should I go to the gym??? What to do after that??? Should I go somewhere??? There are so many things in my mind... I just can't stop thinking about them... Exhausting yet exhilarating... Like what is coming up next in a week or two, will I eventually win something??? If I really won, what my parents will think??? Will it be better if I collect it myself??? I mean, questions never stops to pop up... So now, will I have mental issues if this continues??? Lolz...

I have to admit that what I enjoy the most is something like this, typing a post about what I want to express and having some lovely alone time, doing nothing much just to stop myself from thinking too much and that's it... Going to the gym or go for a swim might do the trick as well :D

Nevertheless, I have spent too much time together with my family making me feel that I want to be alone more nowadays... Not saying that I dislike being with them but unfavourable thoughts eventually strikes me once in a while... I just can't wait for my own house to be ready... I am pretty sure I will have a more balance lifestyle once I moved out...



Sounds like I am having a midlife crisis now...

HIV Test...

Since I got myself involved with sexual activities, not to say I am scared or worried but I felt that I have the responsibility to ensure I am free from HIV or STDs before engaging with other people... I mean, it is very important that I am free from diseases so I won't accidentally spread it to others... I took a HIV, Syphilis, and Hepatitis tests yesterday and so glad that all the results are negative... Although I am free from it, I will still proceed with caution when it comes to my sexual activities...

Now back to my daily life updates.

Joined another Samsung contest and I got a feeling I can win at least one of the first 3 prizes based on my submission. The prizes will be as following:

Grand Prize: 55 inch QLED Samsung TV (price at RM9,999)
First Runner Up: Samsung Galaxy A8+ (around RM2,000+)
Second Runner Up: Samsung Gear S3 Frontier (RM1,399)
Consolations: Parkson Vouchers for 50 people (RM50)

Not to be over-confident but even I failed to win any of the top 3 prizes, I hope I can at least win a RM50 Parkson voucher lolz... Have to wait for at least 2 weeks for the results to be finalised...



Move on with my life for now...

Quick Post...

To my ex-boss... The fact that I have worked longer with you but you only remember to invite the other ex-colleagues and not me somehow made me feel sad... I'm not sure why you never invite me but all these while, I really felt thankful for knowing you... I believe you would have thought about me (at least) when you invite the other colleagues that I hang out together most of the time... I guess this is the end of what we have been through together as a team... Wishing you well and all the best...



OK moving on... Tomorrow is an interesting day... Gonna meet up with someone and hopefully, he is brave enough to meet me this time lol...



Day 8 of CNY... 1 more week left to collect ang pows~~~

My Chinese New Year!!!

OK I think I have totally forgotten to post something in my blog during CNY... As today is the 5th day of CNY (which is still early hopefully), it may not as be exciting as how it used to be during my younger times, but still the vibe lingers... Not because of angpow or gambling but because of the warmness from visiting families and friends... I believe that I am no longer a good child/grandchild/great grandchild in my family hence I would like to cherish this moment as much as I can... Of course, I'm not going to be lonely without them but things will change someday... For better or worse, I am wishing everyone a Healthy, Wealthy and Prosperous Year of Dog!!!

Back to my life... It was a great start of the CNY (not so for New Year though lolz) and I felt some confidence in what I am going to do now... Still a little bit worried but I believe everything will be alright... As going back to my private life, I'm going to meet a guy 4 years younger than me later... Will he be my partner for life (I'm trying very hard to convince myself that I don't believe in feng shui -.-) or just meet for once and that's the end???



Again, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE~~~ 

Fucking Tired...

I am really fucking pissed off with the players in Heroes of the Storms... I really do not know how to express my current fucking feeling right now... Need to clear my mind right now...

On the bright side, they have released a teaser for Kingdom Hearts 3 theme song, sang by Utada Hikaru and the title is "Don't Think Twice"... Let me be frank: Although it is just a teaser but something tells me that this song will be damn awesome shit like Forevermore once the full version is released... Lolz... I guess being a fan of Utada Hikaru for such a long time will eventually know her style of composing and singing... No doubt about it!!!



Kingdom Hearts 3!!! PLEASE COME QUICKLY!!!

Sum Of Jan 2018...

Ok these are the things going through in my head for the month of January 2018:

- Job related thing goes smoothly. Infact, almost all the projects I am handling has a major progress and felt kinda relieved
- Wanted to buy new perfumes. Hugo Boss Bottled and Hugo Boss Bottled Tonic
- No longer falling in love with Hideto anymore
- Slightly unhappy with increment but at least the bonus help a lot. But expecting more for next year (if I'm still working there lol)
- First time dealing with bed bugs. Have better sleep from then
- My house is progressing, which means I have to pay more (fuck!)
- Applied for Celebrity Fitness gym. Getting back to my workout routine
- Fixed an issue with my PC
- Chinese New Year is coming soon...

That's it!!! Waiting for a more balance life and most importantly, able to control my financial better... Just need to wait till mid of 2019... Gotta tahan one and half more years!!!



Not easy to be in my shoe eh???

New Gym...

After my previous' gym access has expired on Christmas Eve, I have enrolled to a new gym last week which is Celebrity Fitness at Subang Parade... The gym does provide a good variety of equipments, and what surprises me most is they provide free towel services as well... Nothing to complain about it at all and I should visit other branches since I got myself the all branches pass...

I did have a progress picture on 31st January 2017 and I was thinking if I should take another one this year... However, I felt nothing much change when looking back to the first picture lolz... I guess I will only decide when that time comes...



Left with 50 bucks to survive till next Wednesday... Apa macam???

Surviving...

I am only left with 200 bucks to survive through this month... This is my very first time living my life in such misery... It is never fun at all... Things are getting very rough this month... With urgent job to finish and almost have to work every weekend (I chose not to cause I really can't) was indeed taking its toll on me... I have to free myself from this stress and all I can do is do what I want to do...

I am really going through some tough time this month and I really really really hope everything will be back to normal by next month...

Another thing I am looking forward to is my increment and bonus... Do I deserve what I should deserve???



Will I be disappointed??? All my high hopes are always never gonna happen...

Awaiting...

Since New Year, I was busy as fuck thanks to a project my boss took... It was not as bad as it can be, but still sort of stressful... And now it has ended for the first wave... There are still few more waves incoming...

Aside from my busy life at work, the next thing I'm looking forward to the most is my bonus and increment... Who doesn't like to know that... I was hoping that my bonus for this month will be extremely rewarding... Well... Just hope... Life would be suck if I am not financially balanced...


Will I be happier in 2018???