Yesterday I talked with my boss and I was supposed to make a decision on whether to continue or quit completely... Frankly speaking, I wanted to quit this project completely but I worry that it will trouble my boss and the group of team that works with me... At this point, I am very unsure of what is right and wrong... Is like, if I continue on, it will just do more harm than good to me... If I quit, it will trouble all the people around me and it could potentially make me loses my job... My boss managed to persuade me the second time by giving me more confidence... Unfortunately, today I had a meeting with project manager I'm working with... It was between us and my boss was not involved... From the discussion we had, it is very clear that they consider me not up to par which I agree as well at some point... I have been pushing myself to learn more about this project... It just never works for me... It is very exhausting that whenever I try to do something, or try to contribute something but it just never seems to show... It feels so demotivating and this has been going on for almost 2 years... Not even once in this project I did something right somehow...
Recently, I question myself a lot about my own capabilities... Am I doing my job right??? Am I being a good son??? Am I even qualified to love someone??? Practically, I failed almost every aspect in terms of my career, my family and my love life... What can I do to be a better person, at least in one of the aspect???
Embracing myself for a turmoil this week...
Instead of looking at what you are lacking, try to also look at things you have or have achieved too. Life is about balancing. Ying and Yang. With and without. Strengths and weaknesses. Don’t over focus on one and ignoring the other. Try to learn how to balance. Hopefully this will help slightly.
ReplyDeleteFrankly speaking, I am proud and happy of what I had achieved previously. Unfortunately, nobody notice or acknowledge what I had done and they only looking on my weakness rather than my strengths. Nevertheless, I don't see any value of having me in this project and I should be doing something about it. In the end, I am the one who have to make the decision.
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