Closer To A New Chapter Of My Life...

As time goes by towards my last day, I am getting both excited and nervous... Things will eventually be different (or it could still be the same) but somehow, knowing that I have a better paid job doesn't mean it will be a happy news for me either... The story is like this... I am not even getting my new job's pay and I was informed that I have to fork out some money to pay for my father's commitments... I mean, seriously??? Is this even a good news to me after knowing that??? What am I supposed to do with that??? I don't hate my father but the day my father is still here, I am no longer be able to reach my early goals... Somehow, I really hope that I was labeled as the black sheep of the family or something because I feel like my life gets miserable as time goes by... Right now, the only thing I can do is just to move on and enjoy my life as what I have now until that day comes... That depressing moment when you think everything is gonna be fine but the next thing you know turns out to be something that will pull you away further...

When shall I find the true meaning of my life in this world??? To be frank, I don't think I will ever regret to die from depression but I will fight it through the end!!!