I was never a hot tempered guy unless that thing really pisses me off a lot... So I was driving back to my home one night, and a car broke down on the left lane... I was driving on the left lane and suddenly have to stop completely due to the broke down car... I mean it wasn't a big deal since is not like they intentionally block the lane... Therefore, I have no choice but to move on to the right lane and this is where I felt mad... When I was driving on left lane, there were no car on the right lane at all and once I get close to the broke down car and tried to change my lane, there were like a long stretch of cars zooming over the right lane for like 1 whole full minute... I was questioning myself, why did this only happens when I want to change lane? Why can't it happens before or after? Why?
Another thing that somehow triggers me is when I left my house and realise that I forgotten to take my phone and I have to go back to my house to take it. I mean it sounds like a minor stuff but to me, somewhere in my brain, I started to have the thoughts of things does not goes my way. For some reason, I felt that everything that happens in my life should only goes smoothly in my point of view. It just ticks me off whenever something does not goes my way. Another example would be when I try to pour some boiled water into my bottle and accidentally splash out some water and caused a slight mess, it just ticks me off for no apparent reason. Basically, whatever minor stuff that occurs to me and does not meet my expectation will just pisses me off awhile.
The fact that I can start working out as the gyms are allowed to open, I felt slight relief in a sense that I can avoid all these minor stuff from affecting me. I've been trying to be more active by swimming and working out so that I can avoid thinking too much. To be frank, I think my mental health was slightly affected from my job stress. Recently, I have been working overtime during weekdays, and even have to work on weekend sometimes since September. I still enjoy working in this company just that I don't really enjoy working on the current project. Because of this, it has constantly urged me to find and change to a new job, which is not that easy as well.
As of today, I would say I am a little bit more OK but still need some time to recuperate, especially on my job stress and hopefully, I will have a fresher and brighter mindset by then.
It is OK to be not OK as long as you know how to take good care of yourself first.
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