Well Well...

All these time, I knew that I do have depression in and out frequently but it usually never last that long, probably maximum 2 weeks then it goes off... And because I was going through a few treatments since February, I knew it does impact me in some ways as well... Then comes to my job, the reason why I desperately wanted to resign is purely because I knew I can't focus on my work (this project) anymore... What surprise me yesterday was when I tried to look at the list of symptoms of depression... On average, out of 10 symptoms, currently I have 7 symptoms out of it and this is really not a good sign... To name a few symptoms I have mentioned before in my previous posts:

• Heart palpitation. My heart tend to beat very fast when I am idle or sleeping
• Fatigue. Feels tired most of the time and wanted to do nothing but just lie down
• Lack of motivation. I believe this is the main root cause of my depression

The fact that even when I told my boss that I am having this mental health problem yet he reluctant to let me resign burdens me even more therefore I have no choice but to request what I can and can't do at this point with him...

I never tell anyone about my depression apart from my boss and I felt that telling him doesn't really help in easing my depression... Perhaps I should try to consult a professional or should I give myself more time for recovery??? One thing for sure, going to the gym or swimming really helps a lot in reducing my depression...

One quick update: I finally got my 3rd injection for Syphilis... Hopefully I can be fully recovered from this treatment :')

Frankly speaking, there are still a lot of stuff in my mind right now but I will leave it to another post...