Am I OK???

Recently, something weird is going on with me... I'm not sure if this is some sort of mental health or what but I am pretty sure it is not something good.. Here are some of the occasions that makes me feel uneasy about myself...

I was never a hot tempered guy unless that thing really pisses me off a lot... So I was driving back to my home one night, and a car broke down on the left lane... I was driving on the left lane and suddenly have to stop completely due to the broke down car... I mean it wasn't a big deal since is not like they intentionally block the lane... Therefore, I have no choice but to move on to the right lane and this is where I felt mad... When I was driving on left lane, there were no car on the right lane at all and once I get close to the broke down car and tried to change my lane, there were like a long stretch of cars zooming over the right lane for like 1 whole full minute... I was questioning myself, why did this only happens when I want to change lane? Why can't it happens before or after? Why?

Another thing that somehow triggers me is when I left my house and realise that I forgotten to take my phone and I have to go back to my house to take it. I mean it sounds like a minor stuff but to me, somewhere in my brain, I started to have the thoughts of things does not goes my way. For some reason, I felt that everything that happens in my life should only goes smoothly in my point of view. It just ticks me off whenever something does not goes my way. Another example would be when I try to pour some boiled water into my bottle and accidentally splash out some water and caused a slight mess, it just ticks me off for no apparent reason. Basically, whatever minor stuff that occurs to me and does not meet my expectation will just pisses me off awhile.

The fact that I can start working out as the gyms are allowed to open, I felt slight relief in a sense that I can avoid all these minor stuff from affecting me. I've been trying to be more active by swimming and working out so that I can avoid thinking too much. To be frank, I think my mental health was slightly affected from my job stress. Recently, I have been working overtime during weekdays, and even have to work on weekend sometimes since September. I still enjoy working in this company just that I don't really enjoy working on the current project. Because of this, it has constantly urged me to find and change to a new job, which is not that easy as well.

As of today, I would say I am a little bit more OK but still need some time to recuperate, especially on my job stress and hopefully, I will have a fresher and brighter mindset by then.

It is OK to be not OK as long as you know how to take good care of yourself first.

*Deep Breathe*

Last 2 weeks were hectic for me due to work... I was so busy that I have to work OT and even on weekends sometimes... Today onward should be a little better... Probably it will still be busy ahead but at least I can have some breaks in between...

Moving on... My condo's swimming pool is finally open and I am so happy about it... Although I prefer them to open the gym, but at least having the pool could temporarily satisfy me xD

Even the commercial gym that I go is opened now, the fact that showers are not allowed pisses me off so much... I will only start back my gym when showers are allowed...

Few more good news to highlight... Apart from gyms, massage centers are allowed to open... I can finally go for a massage and probably will get myself waxed as well... And since gyms are allowed to open now, I believe that the gymnastic center should be operating by now... Since I'm not planning to go to gym yet, perhaps I can make good use of this time to attend some gymnastic classes first hahahahahaha~~~

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~

Oh My...

 

It has been quite some time since I upload a shirtless pic of mine LOL!!! Honestly, since MCO3.0, I never really workout until I got myself a yoga mat last week and I started back with some home workout to keep myself in shape... I am so fucking out of shape (even now) and I really don't know how long will this take for me to at least lose some of my love handles... Regardless of how much I wanted to lift weights, as long as the gyms are no open, I have to stick to this home workout routines T___T

Apart from my body being out of shape, my hair is getting longer as well... Will be getting a haircut this weekend... There are so many things I want to do right now... Massage & waxing is part of it... All the things that I wanted to do are still not allowed to operate... T___T 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~

Okayyy...

There is this guy I know recently (have not met before and knew him for a month) and I always thought I am the type of guy who can be overly attached or obsessive over the guy I love... However, this guy, is like a next level of me... I thought I am bad enough until I know this guy lol...

So the story is, this guy DM me via IG and he told me that he knows about me via Tinder... I never match him in Tinder so I don't really know who he is until I saw his DM... Since he say he wants to befriend me, I added him on IG and we proceed with our usual conversation like getting to know each other... Strangely enough, as time goes by, he is being overly attach to me... I mean, we never even meet before... I never even flirt with him nor express any interest to him, but he always try to assume I am his other half/partner... At first, I thought he was joking but it seems like he taking it too seriously about it now... I have clearly told him that we are just friends but he always try to force the thoughts that we are in relationship or something... I may misinterpret his intention but frankly speaking, it starts to become uncomfortable for me... If he continues on like this for another week, I guess I have no choice but to be a little harsh on him...

I've been chatting up with a few guys that are my type recently (purely just to be friends) but none of them are interested to meet up with me... Meanwhile, those that I never meet before (and not so of my type) are so eager to meet up with me... Why is making new friends so difficult nowadays or was it my problem actually??? =.=

Hoping for some interesting things to happen...

Lol...

 

I bought my tank tops finally... Wanted to get a few just for the sake of getting haha... Honestly, I get used to wearing tank top to gym but still not so used to wearing it for casual outing... It just felt weird to me as I am not used to wearing one since young... Or perhaps, I am just weird >.<

OK... Another post with picture done... Kinda busy with work recently and wishing everyone to be healthy and happy as always~~~

I want massage & gym so badly T_T

LOL!!!

I recall there was a period in the early days where I started to research a lot about swimming pools... That time, I do not know how to swim at all and I was very intrigued with swimming out of a sudden... Therefore, whenever I saw pictures or videos of swimming pool, my passion to learn swimming starts to grow stronger everyday until the very first day I stepped to a public pool, that is when I started to learn swimming... It took me around half a year to learn the basics such as floating and breathing control... To my surprise, I never hire any coach or trainer for my swimming lessons... I learn all of it by myself, alone in the public pool, waddling like a duck and trying to get my techniques right... I even remember there was once I almost drowned myself in Bukit Jalil Aquatic Center (it was a deep pool) when I just started to learn swimming lol... Frankly speaking, I totally did not regret learn to swim although it was a little bit late for me to learn hahaha xD

Now... Recently... I'm not sure if I'm being possessed or what but artistic gymnastic piqued my interest... It felt exactly the same as when I started to be interested in swimming... I tend to research, watch videos of how people train for it and I feel like it is something that I would be interested to learn... Well, I can say it is due to some influence from the hot guys in Tokyo Olympics artistic gymnasts HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I really have the urge to learn artistic gymnastics now... I am the type of a person that once I lock my eyes on to something, I must die die also try it... And very likely, once I started it, I will make it as a hobby of mine like swimming xD

The only concern now for me is there are very limited venues for me to train regularly as we need the proper equipment for artistic gymnastic... The closes one that I can rely on is at PJ... How lehhh :')

Why am I only interested in these at such an old age lolololol

Quick Random Update...

1. Was at the supermarket with my mom and suddenly saw a tall, hot guy... He basically has that figure which makes me swoon... And the next minute, he was walking with his girlfriend... Such a bummer lol...

2. Yesterday was doing my usual house cleaning chores... Was rinsing the mop and while I try to dry it, I broke the mop -.-

3. Before I took my 2nd dose of vaccination, I was quite motivated to do some home cardio workout... After that, I'm just too lazy... Still prefer to lift weights lmaoz...

4. Suddenly have the urge to do some furniture shopping... Sadly now MCO they are not allowed to open :'(

5. Wanted to shop for some cheap and nice sleeveless shirts... Still hesitating a lot >.>

6. One of my kasut I wear to work koyak... Now have to wear my gym shoe to work... Means I need to buy another new shoe for my gym T___T

7. Recently I'm feeling a little bit weird... I tend to lose my appetite and always feeling under the weather... However, when I started eating, my appetite just comes back and I can eventually eat a lot as usual... Why ahhh??? xD

8. I wanted to swim...

OK random updates complete!!!

Shit...

So just a quick update... Since I don't have many games to play, I have no choice but to play the game that pisses me off so much... Still, it pisses me off so much...

Now back to my main update... I've been craving for sweet stuff recently... I'm not sure why but my cravings for doughnuts, especially bomboloni is getting severe... I tried to divert myself from not thinking about it... Once I manage to escape the haunting of doughnuts, there comes the cakes... I already have ice creams and chocolate bar yet I am still craving the other 2 stuffs... Why do I have sweet tooth??? WHY???

I've been starting to do some simple home workout such as pushups everyday just to keep myself active... At least some is better than none... Since now EMCO has ended and we are entering recovery phase, I really hope gyms are allowed to open ASAP!!!

Actually there are so much things in my mind right now... Good, bad and even tiring to think of... Perhaps, I should stop overthinking :')

Just gotta do what I wanna do...