Facial Skincare Routine...

Now I understand why Korean guys have such good face skin... They really took the time and money to buy those products that are suitable for them in order to achieve the good outcome... I mean, probably in other country, men doing facial skincare makes them less manly but when it comes to Korea, even the manliest man can have good looking skin for their face as in they don't look less manly with fair, clean, bright looking face...

Anyway, I really enjoy staying alone more and more after my Genting trip... Maybe because I don't get to enjoy it most of the time, when the time comes, I really enjoy it... The fact that most early 20s guys get to enjoy living alone or having their own room which I do not have such luxury until my 30, could be the thing that drives me wanting more to live alone... This is how I want my life to be...



Even if I do not have money to renovate my entire home, I will still move in first...

My Solo Day!!!

(First time masking xD)

Yes... Finally I am all alone and do what I want to do without worrying anybody judging me lolz... Not to say judge but I just want to have this type of me and myself moment where I can do anything I love (no worries not gonna do illegal things)...

Next pic might be a little too much but I took this pic is just for a purpose of references for myself in the future:

Frankly speaking, I wish I am a little bit sexier lolz... But it does tell me that I used to be not fat... Gotta workout hard!!!

Weeeeeeeee~~~

Well...

As expected... Nothing good will ever happen to me most of the time... Gotta accept the fate that I have for the rest of my life... I am sulking and partially depressed but at the same time, I am always prepared for such things... Perhaps, my life would be better if I do not have high expectation of what I'm looking forward to... That's just how sad my life is lolz...

If there is something that I can change in my life, that would be my fragile heart...



If there is something that I wish for, that would be anything which will never make me depress...

Trying Something New...

For my facial skin care routine, all I ever did was cleansing it with some face cleaner and nothing else after that... However, I notice that the pores on my face becoming more visible and this somehow tells me that I should be changing my face cleaner... Without a doubt, I tried to do some research on the web and I ended up with 2 products, Origins from the US and Innisfree from Korea... I've picked Innisfree since cosmetic products from Korea are more trustable and because I am newbie in this skin care routine, I tried to pick something that is easier for me to apply... As recommended, I bought these 3 things:

1. A face cleanser

2. A toner

3. An all-in-one essence

I tried it for the first time and it does seems to be easy to deal with it... No fuss, just cleanse my face and leave the shower, wipe it dry, apply toner and the essence finally... Simple... I can't say much about the improvement it have on my face right now yet, but it looks promising so far as I notice smaller pores on my face and brighter complexion out of it...

Eventually, for a full facial skin care routine, there are 2 more steps that I did not perform yet which are:

1. Exfoliate

2. Moisturise

Exfoliation is a once or twice per week thing while moisturisers is a daily thing which should be done lastly after applying essence... However, I did not buy any exfoliating and moisturisers products BUT I do have some free free gifts that are able to exfoliate and moisturises as well, which I can use it if I wanted to for a few times... Guess I should give it a try since it will be wasted if I'm not using it right??? Lol...

Honestly speaking, I am still a completely newbie in this field and I will try my best to learn more along the way... The biggest struggle that I am facing now after I started my facial skin care routine is I can barely scratch my face when it is itchy lolz....

It is so much fun finding something new to do once in a while lolz...

Tell Me...

I have this bad omen, something bad is going to happen... I always believe of the curse that I have... The curse where every first good thing will never happen, and it tends to be miserable... So miserable that it will eventually leads me to depression... However, I told myself that this is a norm and I should just move on with my life... But this, I don't think I can ever get it through that easily... I really do not know what he is thinking about, and at the same time, have I done something that he dislikes... Indeed, I hinted way too much about how much I love him all these while but could it be possible that he find me being too clingy or something??? I am so desperate for an answer from him but I am afraid it will further destroy our friendship... After that message, he never even read or reply my question which makes me felt that he is starting to avoid me... I understand that we just met twice and if he found me annoying, I really really really hope he will tell me directly rather than ignoring me completely...

Ok... Again I am being selfish this time but I really really really hope that our Genting trip is not going to be cancelled due to anything bad between us... That's all I am asking for dear God... As long as I get to be with him just for that night, I will be extraordinary happy... Yes I do...



Please...

Why???

Met him again last Friday night... To me, it is definitely a not so favourable night, not sure who is to be blamed as there are too many people involved out of the sudden... This is basically what happens:

1. As usual. Things goes well on the first half hour. We had a minor fun in shower.
2. We move on to the room. Hope that we both can have a good time.
3. Situation changed. He wanted to try threesome. I agreed cause I am willing to do anything just for him.
4. Went out to find someone. Frankly speaking, nobody really caught my attention because I only have my eyes set on him.
5. Found someone. Good looking but not hot. I am OK with him since I asked him to pick anyone he wants.
6. Threesome ended badly. He did not enjoy much, and I felt worst not because I did not get to enjoy but the 3rd guy used 2 of my condoms and nobody enjoy. Not awkward though.
7. Get along with him, and became friends, went for dinner together.
8. Met a friend of 3rd guy since we were OK for him to invite his friend together for dinner.
9. Known each other quite well, and went back home.
10. Once I reached home, I personally message him and ask what does he think about 3rd guy ask if we are couple. He say the truth is we aren't. I accept that. Then I ask him directly if he ever thought about we both as a couple, he replied no.

Ok based on the story above, yes I am glad that I met the 2 new guys (the 3rd guy treated us for dinner so I can forgive him on the condom) but overall, it was quite an unfavourable event or day for me. I am completely lost on what he thinks about me right now.



I really love him a lot actually. Not because of the fun we had but because of the person he is. Just that I am not sure what he thinks about me right now.

How???

He acts hot and cold sometimes... It is extremely difficult for me to catch what he wants from me... I do message him once in a while so that I can see if he still has any interest on me... Well although we agreed to stay a night in Genting, but it is still far away and I'm really afraid that something not right might happen between us before the Genting trip (touch wood)... If I ever confess to him and he accepts it, will it be different from how it looks or feels like now??? The thing is, we will be only meeting for not even 5 times and if I confess to him on Genting, will he able to accept it??? There are so many uncertainties that makes me ponder more than ever... The more I think about it, the more further I felt from being with each other...

Ok... I gotta think of doing something with him after dinner... That's it...

Action is louder than words!!!

27th April 2019...

It feels so far away... The day where we will spend a night together... There are so many thoughts in my mind right now... I am so happy, anxious, excited, and any emotions that can fills it in... I've been waiting for this moment since that day we met... The fact that we can't go Bangkok together, this trip will be an important one for me... I thought of so many things that we both can do... Honestly speaking, I prefer that we both can go on Bangkok trip together rather than a 1 night stay trip...

The more I would like to meet him, the more difficult time passes by...



Don't stray too far away from me T_T